Breastfeeding: The Celebration & Struggle

While pumping at work today, I was thinking about the fact that Grayson turns 8 months old this week. While that in itself is crazy, this week also marks 8 months of exclusively breastfeeding Grayson. No supplements, no formula...just my body working hard to keep my baby alive and healthy for 8 months. While this post isn't meant to shame anyone who hasn't don't the same, I have to say I am really proud of myself. I can't believe we have made it this far! 

Being a working mama, I just didn't know if it would be possible for me to continue breastfeeding this long, but Grayson and I have made it work! Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I've ever physically done....being responsible for every night feeding, pumping at 3am, stressing that there might not be enough milk while I'm gone, giving up my lunch breaks to pump, continuing to feed my baby while I'm sick (really sick) and can barely get out of bed, feeding in public, feeding in the most random places, the toll it takes on our poor boobs, leaving the group and feeling left out so that I can breastfeed Grayson to sleep, not being able to see exactly how much he's getting and being fearful that I'm starving him, dealing with teeth & biting...breastfeeding has been A LOT of work, but it's been such a special experience. There were so many times it would have been easy to give up (the first few, extremely painful weeks, for starters), but I didn't. I stuck to my goal despite the sometimes pure inconvenience and challenges.

Providing for your child by giving yourself physically is such a difficult, but rewarding and beautiful thing. I'm so thankful Grayson and I have been able to experience 8 months of bonding and I'm hopeful that we will be able to continue until his first birthday. I know this might be random or weird to some, but I think it's worth celebrating. Breastfeeding mamas, you are awesome! Your child might not ever truly understand how much work you put into breastfeeding, but your sacrifice and act of love is so valued. I once heard someone say that "breastfeeding is a way of giving your child the best start to life" and I couldn't agree more.

Grayson's 7 Month Update!

Grayson is 7 months old! I cannot believe we are in the second half of his first year. Wow! Doing these monthly updates and photos is so fun because I love seeing how he changes and grows each month. It's cool to see the progression! This little boy is a firecracker -- full of life and personality!

Weight & Height: He went to the doctor this week and he is right at 19 lbs. His height is similar to last month, but I haven't measured him. Although he seems SO heavy these days and my arms are becoming more toned by the day! (Not complaining there!)

Grayson wasn't exactly loving our 7 month photo shoot. Sometimes I feel like I have a teenager trapped inside a baby's body. I can just feel him going, "ugh mommmm."

 

Feeding: Breastfeeding is still going wonderfully and solids are going okay. Grayson still isn't too interested, but I would say he usually has one good feeding of solids a day. He prefers fruit and gags if you give him most veggies! He used to love avocado, but isn't a fan anymore. He loves any apple or pear mixture. Feeding him solids is usually a mood thing. If I give it a try at the right time of the day, he can eat a whole jar! Just depends on his mood. Grayson is also eating puffs and has tried watermelon and little pieces of bread. He's a fan!

 

Sleeping: This department is pretty much the same. On average, he still wakes up a few times a night. But he also slept 8 hrs straight twice this month. Grayson cut his 3rd tooth a few weeks ago and is working on his 4th tooth. He wakes up in pain sometimes during the night. Poor baby! He goes to bed at 930 and gets up for the day around 7-8am. He takes a good morning nap followed by 2 shorter afternoon naps. We have definitely established a routine as far as bedtime goes, so getting him to sleep is usually very easy and quick. Keeping him asleep is another story ;)

**We had a major breakthrough in the sleeping and eating department since I originally wrote this post, so I am excited to share those updates with you in his 8 month post!

 

  

 

Clothes: Grayson is wearing mostly 6 month clothing and is in size 4 diapers. We are in the process of switching to 6-9 month clothing.
 

 

Mood: A few traits to describe our Grayson would be stubborn, strong-willed, expressive, silly, fun, loud, determined, and curious. He has been all over the board this month with his mood! He can be excited and in the best mood one minute and then fussy the next. Grayson is definitely all boy and all over the place these days! He's into everything and loves to explore. He likes to change activates frequently and gets bored easily. He is teething badly, so he wants to chew and bite everything (and I mean, everything) and he gets frustrated if he can't get to what he wants. Grayson laughs and giggles so loudly; I love it! His ribs are his tickle spot! He is extremely vocal and hardly goes 5 minutes without making some sort of crazy sound.

 

 

Teeth: 3! He got his 3rd (top) tooth this month and is working hard on that 4th (top) tooth. Teething has been rough for our little one. He is mostly fussy, moody, and cranky. He doesn't get diarrhea or run a fever and has only had a runny nose once due to teething. Baby Tylenol is our best friend some days!

Milestones: Grayson is in a whole new phase of life. He doesn't want to lay down or even sit most of the time, he wants to stand! He loves to stand while holding on to something for support and will stand happily for up to 20 minutes. He is all over the place and becoming more mobile daily.

Grayson can get himself off the couch and into a standing position on the ground using the couch as his support all on his own. This baby is ready to go! The cutest milestones this month are clapping and giving high 5's! I taught him how to do both and was so excited that he starting doing this. It's adorable! Grayson can also drink out of a cup now (with assistance). I started giving him a tiny bit of water after long, hot walks and he does really well with taking sips of water out of an open cup. Lastly, Grayson got his first "haircut" this month. I wouldn't consider it his first official haircut, but we had to trim his bangs because they were so badly in his eyes. His hair grows so fast!

Loves: I say this every month, but Grayson is still in love with Cedric. When Grayson is fussy, I call Cedric in the room, and Grayson instantly starts smiling and maybe even laughing. I love their "brotherly" relationship! Grayson also loves the swings, being held by mommy and daddy (a little separation anxiety going on this month), watching the tub drain, playing pick-a-boo, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (smiles every time Mickey comes on the screen), swimming at the pool, exploring and taking everything out of his diaper bag and chewing on my keys and phone.

Things I Want To Remember:

-Trip to Irwinton and Cousin Time -- We were lucky enough to be able to take a few days to go visit Josh's parents and family in Middle GA this month. It was great to be able to take a few days to relax while Grayson got some good quality time with his grandparents! Grayson has also been able to see all 6 of his cousins this month and it's so fun for me to watch his relationships with his cousins grow. Grayson has the best cousins who are all so sweet to him and constantly refer to him as "Baby Grayson". They even help me feed, change, bathe, and play with Grayson every time we visit. It's so sweet!

-Playing in his box--You know how the old saying goes...you can buy your child everything in the world, but they will be most excited to play with the box! Grayson loves his box and his daddy and I love that we are able to contain him for a few minutes to cook dinner and get a few things done around the house! Win-win! I've had a few other mommy friends try this with their babies recently and apparently it's been a success for them too!
 

-Playground-- We have been taking Grayson to the playground at our church this month and he is loving it! The swings are his favorite, but he also like the slides and the toy cars. It's really fun that he is getting to the age where he is enjoying the playground!

 

-Family Photos -- I haven't been the best about taking proper pictures of all 3 of us, but I have been trying to get more lately. Here are a few I loved from this month!

"Bloom Where You Are Planted"

This week has been tough for me. There are a lot of changes coming my way and I haven't been the most accepting of deviating from my comfortable and familiar path. In fact, I feel like I've resisted change to the best of my ability. While some people might be excited by fresh starts and new chapters, I am petrified. I like routine and familiarity. I like knowing what to expect and how it's all going to unfold. This probably roots back to my need to be in control and to have the ability to define and select the environment in which I feel like I will do well. I've convinced myself that I need certain conditions to not only survive, but to succeed.

I saw this quote this week and it really struck me. "Bloom Where You Are Planted". Wow, how powerful. Here I am thinking that I can only "bloom" under my chosen circumstances, my wants, and my preferences. I am holding on to the reins so tightly that I am probably close to losing circulation. Since when did I become so close-minded that I don't trust God to direct where I am "planted" and then help me prosper there? I saw this quote and immediately thought that this needs to be my new motto. I can't rely on comfort and fear of change to be my foundation and stipulations for growth in my life. I can't put limitations on how God is going to work. I want to be the type of person and the type of Christian who can blossom anywhere because I have God on my side. And because I have God directing my life. I want to be able to jump knowing that wherever He is taking me, I can trust Him. I want to be someone who finds the positive wherever I go and survives and flourishes wherever God sees fit to put me. Who am I to put restrictions on what God can do?

Slowly, I am opening the door to change and trying to shove fear and doubt out of my mind. This motto is my prayer, for myself and for my family. May we be people who bloom, flourish, and succeed anywhere God takes us. No restrictions, no limits, and no holding back. I owe it to everyone, including myself, to open up my mind to the idea that if God is truly directing my steps, then the only reason I won't thrive will be because of myself. He won't call me and then leave me hanging. He will finish out His work in me wherever I am called. God will ensure I "bloom", if I only let Him "plant" me. Ready or not, I'm jumping!

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." -Philippians 1:6

God Is Making Things Happen For You (Are you watching?)

This quote above is one of my favorites. I think of it often and go back to it during the times where I don't feel God's answers to be as evident as I would like. It's encouraging to me to know that God is always working, in and around me, for His glory and my good. I read this, feel uplifted, and go on with my day. But the struggle comes when I forget this truth. The challenge comes when I forget to look for God's handprint in my life and I lose perspective. It's so easy to find myself never satisfied, always wanting more.


How often do we beg God for something and then once we get it...we immediately become unsatisfied with something else in our lives and go running to God to fix that as well? We don't even take the time to be thankful for our answered prayer and slow down enough to realize God is actively working in our lives in big and small ways.

I realized I was doing this recently when it came to my work life. Before I had Grayson, I dreamed of being able to work part-time and have the opportunity to stay home with him a few days a week. At the time, we didn't think this would be financially possible. Josh and I made the decision that I would go back to work full-time after having our baby. I was devastated and could barely even think about it. The daunting thought of having to go back to work creeped in during my entire 6 week maternity leave. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of leaving my 6 week old baby to go back to work full-time. I went back for exactly a day and a half before making the decision that I had to go part-time. I talked to my boss immediately and she said it would be possible for me to go part-time. Problem-solved or in other words, prayer answered. Josh and I were nervous about being able to make it financially with me only working part-time. Well, we aren't rich that's for sure, but we are making it! God has provided for us whether that be through unexpected raises and bonuses or a sweet friend giving us used baby clothes and a church member dropping off a box of diapers for us. Every little bit counts and has helped us. Another prayer was answered. Josh was even able to go full-time at his job as associate pastor at our church this summer which allows me to be home more. Another example of God's hand in our lives.

While I was so happy to only work 3 days a week, I had to give up a lot of responsibility at work. I'm not doing as much now and not in charge of as much because I am there half the time. Because of that, I don't always feel as challenged as I would like at my job. Recently, I was down about that and instead of remembering how far God had brought me to allow me to stay at home more with my son, I focused on the negative. I focused on the part I had to give up in order for God to bless me. I also still hated commuting to and from Buckhead 3 days a week. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate commuting and how much it affects my life. I may have been working less, but on the days I did work, I would literally be almost in tears because the traffic would keep me away for added time. The drive would put me in an awful mood and it just became a burden in my life. One day, I was 30 minutes late picking up my son and I actually cried because I had been away from him for so long that day. I was in the car for an hour and a half trying to get to him after work and I had reached my limit. Soon after that, my company began hiring new people and it became a possibility for me to leave work an hour earlier. This might sound minor, but for a commuter, it's a big deal. I can get home in 40 minutes as opposed to an hour plus. And I am in a much happier mood when I reach my doorstep! Another prayer answered.

We moved offices at work recently and I found myself separated from most of my co-workers doing a job that is very basic and not extremely fulfilling for me. I was really bummed about it Monday and I felt lonely and left-out because I am away from everyone. Then I had a big wake-up call. How can I possibly complain at all about my work situation? God has been so good to me through all of this. How can I not be thankful for what He's done and lose perspective that fast? He has answered so many prayers over and over. And yet, only I could find a reason to still be unhappy and want more. I quickly reminded myself of all the ways God has moved in this situation and became overwhelmed with gratitude. I don't think I had even realized how much God had been working until I pieced it all together. And wow. That was just a tiny fraction of my life and God had it handled. And me? Well, I forgot that all too quickly and let negativity and anxiety take over instead of letting peace and praise fill me up.

God is working. All the time. Are we looking, opening our eyes, and being grateful in return? Or are we constantly asking for something more with discontent? It's easy to focus on the things in my life that I wish were better or different, but there is so much peace to be had when I realize that the things I want and need are slowly coming to be...all in His timing.

"The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:5-7

Grayson's 6 Month Update!

And just like that, Grayson is half a year old! I can hardly believe it. It's crazy how quickly the first half of this year has flown by and how much Grayson has grown. It's amazing all that he has learned to do in such a short amount of time! It's so weird to think that Grayson has only been in our lives such a small amount of time, yet it's hard to remember life before him. Being a mommy has made my heart more full than I ever thought! I'm in love with our little 6 month old boy!

Weight & Height: Grayson just had his 6 month check-up, so his weight and height are up-to-date. He weighs 17 lbs. 15.9 oz. (61%) and is 26.5 inches long (55%).

Feeding: I feel like I should sing the "A Whole New World" song from Aladdin for this particular topic. Grayson started solids this month! Hence, feeding is a whole new world for both of us! What's funny is how much I thought Grayson would just love solids. Since I held him off until 5 months, I felt like I was almost depriving him of real food. But since the beginning, Grayson has been a milk lover and that is still holding true. He has done okay with solids, but he isn't nearly as interested in them as I thought he might be. We started off with rice cereal which he wasn't a fan of and then added apples which he liked a lot more. Then we did an avocado which was by far his favorite. He couldn't get enough! Grayson has also tried butternut squash and carrots which have to be combined with fruit in order for there not to be tears. Grayson makes the worst face every time he has to eat either! He's also eaten mango, apple, banana, kiwi and strawberries as far as fruits go. I'm making most of his baby food myself and I really like doing that. We were given a huge box of baby food at one of Grayson's baby showers, so in order to be somewhat money conscious, I have also been pulling from that box. All the veggies have been made by me and some of the fruits have been the premade jarred baby food. Grayson doesn't seem to notice the difference. Although I really like that we were given mostly the "natural" baby food and a brand called "Beech Nut". If you look at the ingredients on the back it lists that particular fruit and water. There are no additives or preservatives which I personally like a lot. Right now, he eats solids 1-2 times a day. This area is still a work in progress!

Sleeping: This department is still very similar to last month. Grayson still wakes up about once a night on average, but I'm convinced he is close to cutting his 3rd tooth because we have had a few rough nights recently where you can tell the poor baby is just in pain. I hate it for him! I thought starting solids might change his sleeping schedule, but he just isn't a kid who sleeps through the night (at least not yet) and I've accepted that. Grayson goes to bed around 930pm and gets up around 730-8am with one feeding in between. He takes a very dependable morning nap and then an afternoon and possibly one small evening nap.

  

Clothes: Grayson is wearing mostly 6 month clothing and is still in size 3 diapers.

Mood: Grayson has such a fun personality and I just love playing with him now that he can interact with me. I love seeing the goofy side of him come out! Grayson is constantly laughing and smiling. But he is also very moody and can be whiny as well ;) Grayson is very expressive! He has never been one to be shy about his feelings which cracks me up, mostly because it reminds me of myself. Scary! He is so independent, but at the same time, he still loves his mommy and daddy and can be very clingy. It's the perfect contrast for me, as I'm not ready for a "big kid" quite yet.

Teeth: Grayson still has 2 teeth, but I'm hoping a 3rd one comes through soon! The poor baby is teething badly.

Milestones: Grayson is now mobile! This month, he started scooting and creeping. He isn't quite crawling, but he can get from one place to the next! He is all over the place and rarely sits still. His version of "crawling" involves pushing forward with his legs, keeping his head down on the ground, and screeching like he is a warrior on a mission. It's hilarious! This mama is NOT ready for a mobile baby! Grayson does really well at sitting up, rolling over (and over and over), and standing while holding on to the table. He can get to pretty much any object he wants and his hand-eye coordination is great. His new trick is picking up what he dropped on the floor. I will be holding him and when he drops his toy on the ground, I lean him over and he grabs his toy back and then we keep on walking. It's really fun that he can do that now.

Loves: Cedric -- Grayson loves our dog SO much recently and just giggles and smiles each time Cedric walks by him. I can sit Grayson down next to Cedric and they will just play with each other. (Meaning Cedric will lick and Grayson will tug Cedic's fur) It's so sweet! Grayson loves to chew on anything and everything, funny sounds and faces, watching Mama sing and dance like a nut, swimming and splashing, and his Daddy (Grayson's face lights up every time Daddy enters the room!).
 

Things I Want to Remember:

Play dates -- We have been so lucky to have the opportunity to meet up with a few mommies and babies close to Grayson's age recently. I love all my friends, but there is something special about women going through the same season of life with you. It's awesome to be able to relate and encourage one another. Plus Grayson loves it!

First time at the Pool -- Grayson loves it despite the water being extremely cold!

Sitting in the buggy -- This makes grocery shopping so much easier, but it also makes him seem so big!

Tubing -- Yesterday we went tubing (very low-impact rapids) in Helen for my friend's birthday and Grayson came along. I was really nervous, but he did great! Grayson actually slept over half the ride! I guess the river was relaxing for him :) I was really proud of myself for taking him by myself for the day and allowing myself to have fun instead of worrying!