This quote above is one of my favorites. I think of it often and go back to it during the times where I don't feel God's answers to be as evident as I would like. It's encouraging to me to know that God is always working, in and around me, for His glory and my good. I read this, feel uplifted, and go on with my day. But the struggle comes when I forget this truth. The challenge comes when I forget to look for God's handprint in my life and I lose perspective. It's so easy to find myself never satisfied, always wanting more.
How often do we beg God for something and then once we get it...we immediately become unsatisfied with something else in our lives and go running to God to fix that as well? We don't even take the time to be thankful for our answered prayer and slow down enough to realize God is actively working in our lives in big and small ways.
I realized I was doing this recently when it came to my work life. Before I had Grayson, I dreamed of being able to work part-time and have the opportunity to stay home with him a few days a week. At the time, we didn't think this would be financially possible. Josh and I made the decision that I would go back to work full-time after having our baby. I was devastated and could barely even think about it. The daunting thought of having to go back to work creeped in during my entire 6 week maternity leave. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of leaving my 6 week old baby to go back to work full-time. I went back for exactly a day and a half before making the decision that I had to go part-time. I talked to my boss immediately and she said it would be possible for me to go part-time. Problem-solved or in other words, prayer answered. Josh and I were nervous about being able to make it financially with me only working part-time. Well, we aren't rich that's for sure, but we are making it! God has provided for us whether that be through unexpected raises and bonuses or a sweet friend giving us used baby clothes and a church member dropping off a box of diapers for us. Every little bit counts and has helped us. Another prayer was answered. Josh was even able to go full-time at his job as associate pastor at our church this summer which allows me to be home more. Another example of God's hand in our lives.
While I was so happy to only work 3 days a week, I had to give up a lot of responsibility at work. I'm not doing as much now and not in charge of as much because I am there half the time. Because of that, I don't always feel as challenged as I would like at my job. Recently, I was down about that and instead of remembering how far God had brought me to allow me to stay at home more with my son, I focused on the negative. I focused on the part I had to give up in order for God to bless me. I also still hated commuting to and from Buckhead 3 days a week. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate commuting and how much it affects my life. I may have been working less, but on the days I did work, I would literally be almost in tears because the traffic would keep me away for added time. The drive would put me in an awful mood and it just became a burden in my life. One day, I was 30 minutes late picking up my son and I actually cried because I had been away from him for so long that day. I was in the car for an hour and a half trying to get to him after work and I had reached my limit. Soon after that, my company began hiring new people and it became a possibility for me to leave work an hour earlier. This might sound minor, but for a commuter, it's a big deal. I can get home in 40 minutes as opposed to an hour plus. And I am in a much happier mood when I reach my doorstep! Another prayer answered.
We moved offices at work recently and I found myself separated from most of my co-workers doing a job that is very basic and not extremely fulfilling for me. I was really bummed about it Monday and I felt lonely and left-out because I am away from everyone. Then I had a big wake-up call. How can I possibly complain at all about my work situation? God has been so good to me through all of this. How can I not be thankful for what He's done and lose perspective that fast? He has answered so many prayers over and over. And yet, only I could find a reason to still be unhappy and want more. I quickly reminded myself of all the ways God has moved in this situation and became overwhelmed with gratitude. I don't think I had even realized how much God had been working until I pieced it all together. And wow. That was just a tiny fraction of my life and God had it handled. And me? Well, I forgot that all too quickly and let negativity and anxiety take over instead of letting peace and praise fill me up.
God is working. All the time. Are we looking, opening our eyes, and being grateful in return? Or are we constantly asking for something more with discontent? It's easy to focus on the things in my life that I wish were better or different, but there is so much peace to be had when I realize that the things I want and need are slowly coming to be...all in His timing.
"The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:5-7
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