Out with the Old, In with the New

Last night I finally conquered the task of cleaning out my closet. It's been a long time coming and it really needed to be done. I have accumulated so many clothes over the years; it was getting a tad out of hand. The majority of my wardrobe is actually quite old, most of it dating back to my teenage years. These clothes aren't nice and new anymore. In fact, most of them are very worn and used. My closet was stuffed full of junk and clutter. So why the struggle to get rid of it?

It's funny how something as simple as going through your closet can make you nostaglic. As I went to put different articles of clothing in the "giving away" pile, my mind was suddenly flooded with memories. I started thinking about when I bought it, where I had worn it and the special moments I had in these different outfits. To most, this probably sounds ridiculous. I realized that I actually had a sentimental attachment to some of my clothes and that is what has made me put off giving them away time and time again.

I felt like this was such a good depiction of what is going on in my life at the moment. I am growing up. I am getting older. It is time to change, but for some reason, I find it hard to let the past go. I am still learning who I am as an adult. I am still coming into my own. Last night, I realized how scary it is to let go of who you used to be and to finally put those memories from long ago in the vault, and walk away. As hard as that is, the most intimidating part of all isn't actually letting go of who you once were but figuring out who you are going to become. Instead of being sad about the things I was getting rid of, I slowly became excited about all of the new things that were soon to fill my closet and represent who I am now and who I am becoming.

This process also revealed to me that I have a tendency to hold on to the junk in my life. Seemingly beautiful or flat out ugly, I squeeze tight to the stuff that bogs me down. Those things clutter my closet and really, they clutter my life. The old stuff weighs me down and doesn't allow me to focus on the new stuff. At first, I was hesitant to put anything in that "get rid of" pile, but once I started, I couldn't stop. Getting rid of the junk allowed me to see what I had so much more clearly. I wasn't distracted by the mess falling from the hangers anymore. I could finally focus on the important things without all the other debris blurring my vision.

What I came to realize throughout the experience of cleaning out my closet is that my closet is a lot like my life. It has been cluttered and full of junk. I needed to get rid of the chaos and disorder and start filling my life with the things that actually matter. It's never easy to rid your life of the rubbish that you have held so tightly to, but it feels so satisfying once you do. It is also tough to let go of the old and scary to see what the new holds. It's a process, this whole growing up and moving forward thing. I am still learning and will continue to day by day. I now see what it's like to have a simple life full of the good things, not being bogged down by pointless junk. It's freeing and weighless. I can finally see where I am headed and it feels good!