Little Wins

It's been a while since I've written anything on my blog that wasn't baby related...and I realize that. I haven't been the best about documenting my life, experiences, thoughts, struggles, etc. on my blog in the past few months. In all honesty, it is because I've felt swamped. I haven't been able to put into words everything I've been feeling, doing, and experiencing. There's just been so much! Between the new roles and responsibilities I now have in my life combined with the old ones, I've felt overwhelmed and just downright exhausted. There are days where I feel so happy my heart could explode, but there are also days (especially recently) where I get down on myself and don't feel like I'm doing a very good job. There's just so much to get done: cleaning, laundry, sleep training, working, pumping, feeding, playing, cooking....combine that with the sleepless nights and some days I just crack. (Anyone else get emotional when exhausted?) I start to feel inadequate and that I'm just not enough.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who constantly reassures me that I am a great mother and wife, even when I feel like that's far from the truth. I get negative (way too quickly) and forget what is actually going right. I tend to get so consumed in the struggle that I don't look up and remind myself of the positives, blessings, and accomplishments, no matter the size. (There are a ridiculous number of positives, by the way.) Lately, I've been very stressed, and not quite sure how to deal with it all. So, after talking a lot with my mom, I was reminded to count the little wins. (Don't you love how moms have a way of saying something so simple yet empowering?) I'm trying to make more of an effort to stay positive, stay motivated, and remember what I AM accomplishing. At the end of the day, I sometimes think of all I didn't get done that day, of the number of times Grayson had a meltdown, of my to-do list fails. But you know what? There's so much that goes RIGHT each day. There's so much progress that is made. There are lots of lessons learned. And hey at the very least, I survived, right? And I need to start seeing it. Changing my way of thinking is a work in progress, but I am trying.