When "Happily Ever After" Hasn't Come Yet

In our world today, we are programmed to believe that every story, every conflict, every struggle ends in a "happily ever after" fashion. Each problem we face must conclude with a tidy ending wrapped up neatly with a bow on top. With movies and TV as our example and the instant gratification mentality that our society has acquired, it's no wonder we expect instant answers and quick resolution. But what happens when certain seasons of life don't play out in the way we expect? What if there isn't a quick fix to the problems we are facing? What if things don't just work out?

I've been in such a strange season of life recently. I'm getting older and life is changing rapidly right before my eyes. Friends are scattered and in different phases of life. Work is more of a duty than a source of passion and fulfillment. Being a wife and a mother is on the forefront of my mind most hours of most days. I can feel myself slipping away from my old life while this new phase takes over. In so many ways, this is such a joyful and meaningful time. I am so very happy in many aspects of my life, but on the flip side, this season of life is very challenging and sometimes lonely. Friendships are changing, my purpose is evolving, and the sense of community that I once felt seems to be fleeting. It's easy to feel a little lost in all the changes. That question of "Who am I?" keeps coming back in my mind as I feel like I am almost redefining myself through this season of life. Some days feel a lot like going through the fire to hopefully come out better on the other side. It's such a confusing time.

I've gone to God many times at this point and just asked "why"? Why am I going through this season and why do I feel so alone in it sometimes? Why do things have to change and why haven't You provided me with the solution to how I'm feeling? Why does life give us seasons that are so paradoxical and inconsistent? I kept asking these questions and looking for the lesson that God was trying to teach me through all of this. I kept wanting the pain to be quick and the healing to show itself instantly. I kept waiting on the "Great Provider" to give me what I was longing for. I figured, I'll just have faith and He will come through. God will get me out of this "pit" and give me a magical rope to pull myself out. He is going to change my situation, just you wait.

As time went on, I felt worn down from the struggles I was facing and felt like things weren't changing at all. I had waited and waited, made every effort I could, and things were still the same. What the heck, God? What are you doing here? It's taken me a while to see it, but I feel like God is teaching me a huge lesson through this season. And it doesn't have a fairy tale ending...at least not yet. This story involves things staying the same and me being the one to (begrudgingly) change. I'm striving to be content in this season even though things aren't exactly how I wish they were. I'm reminded to be thankful for all the things I do have and all the things that are going as I hoped. Sometimes no matter how much we wish, there isn't always a quick and easy fix to our trials and tribulations. Sometimes the answer is just learning to lean more and more into God and find your comfort and strength in the one thing that will never change. I don't know how this story ends yet, but I continue to have faith. And I urge you to do the same. When "happily ever after" hasn't come yet....that's when you keep going, keep believing, keep trusting. But you can also let yourself be disappointed. Let yourself ask the hard questions. Not every season of life has a picture perfect ending. Sometimes the struggle continues and that's okay. I'm learning to accept that and I hope you do too.