Expectant

Each year my Aunt asks me, "So what's your WORD this year?" She chooses a word each year that God lays on her heart and that word is her theme and focus for that year. She started doing this years ago and each year urges me to choose a word and participate alongside her. Each year I try to pick out a good word that I believe will be fitting for that year or something I know I need to work on, but honestly no word from the past really sticks out as much as the word I've chosen for 2016. In January, I chose the word "Expectant" for this year. At that time, I knew 2016 would hold many changes for my family, but I wanted to go into this year full of expectation of what God was going to do instead of being fearful or anxious about the chaos that was soon to come. I really looked at 2016 as a "Here God, You can have it" type of year knowing that it would hold more than I could handle on my own. Between expecting our second child and moving to a new city for my husband's job, 2016 was going to be a big year for the Gale family. But this word has come to mean so much more as this year has unfolded.

 

Within a few weeks of deciding to be expectant and hopeful of what God would do this year, I had to go to the ER twice for a hemorrhage and was told I had a "threatened miscarriage". Already, 2016 wasn't going nearly as I expected and we were only a month in. The medical bills rolled in (and kept rolling in) and we were left helplessly fighting for our baby's life in a high-risk pregnancy, knowing prayer was the only thing we could really do to be active about the situation. In some ways, it felt like we were drowning. Asking God....why? I had expectations for this year, but this wasn't it. Despite this scary situation, God has remained strong and faithful to us. I never wanted to go through something like this, but in some weird ways, I can say I'm thankful for it. God has shown Himself as everything His Word claims He is to me during this time. He's worked things out in amazing ways. God has blown my expectations out of the water! He has shown up in huge ways and that is exactly what I had hoped for 2016. While it may not look how I would have wanted it to, choosing to expect big things from God this year was right on point.

The next month, Josh stood before 3 boards hoping to pass and become a provisional Ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church. Josh has been working towards this for years and it's been quite the process. He went through 3 years of seminary, wrote what seemed like a million pages worth of paperwork, papers, and Bible studies, sat through many meetings, and spent hours upon hours preparing for this moment. Thankfully, he passed!! While this was so exciting for our family, it also confirmed that we would definitely be moving to a new church in a new town in June. We are nervous, but trusting. Trying our very best to believe God will bring us to where we need to be. A month after he passed the boards, we found out that we would be moving to Lizella, GA and that Josh would be the head Pastor at Lizella UMC!

We are so excited for our new adventure, but also quite nervous to move to a brand new place. Or maybe I should say that I am! This is my first big move and if you haven't noticed over the few years I've been writing this blog, I'm not a fan of change. We are leaving behind family, a church family that we adore, friends, our first home, and the entire life we've build as a married couple. I'm moving to a place where I don't know a soul (thankfully we will have family somewhat close by) and everything about our life is going to change. While this is scary, it is also quite exciting and another chance for me to cling to the hope of being expectant for God to move in awesome ways during this next chapter. God has already allowed us to be placed at a wonderful appointment with a new, loving church family. We get to live in a parsonage that the church has so kindly been working hard to make perfect for our arrival. Josh and I are also getting to live out our dreams by taking this leap of faith and having high expectations of what God is going to do despite the unknown -- he will be the Pastor is his "own" church, continuing the process of becoming a fully Ordained Elder in the UMC and I will officially be a stay-at-home mom! We have both been dreaming of the day we would get to do these things for a very long time and are so excited the opportunity is finally here. God has truly taken care of us and provided above and beyond.

We are going into the month of May and I feel like my head is spinning. We have so much going on over the next 6 weeks. I always feel like we are busy and like our life is chaotic and I think surely one day it will slow down....but it only amps up! Each year life gets crazier, but despite the (extra long) laundry list of things going on in the next few months, I'm in a good place. Josh was preaching about God's timing last Sunday and saying that this concept has been quite prevalent in our lives over the past few months. He couldn't be more right. We have been so dependent on God and so trusting that God's timing and His plans will lead us to the right place. Josh and I have really been leaning on God more than ever to guide us and while there have been many ups and downs; there is something so peace-giving about trusting God and allowing Him to work in us. What an awesome thing to be able to say that God is changing the world and we get to be a small part of it, by allowing Him to work in us. Starting off the year choosing to be expectant and hopeful of what God would do this year was bold for me (normally I would be having a panic attack in the corner thinking of all the stresses to come), but letting go and allowing God to work in our lives has been such an amazing experience. God is working around us, working in us, and moving mountains for us and this world -- I had every right to be expectant of all the big things that God would do this year because He's doing them! God is moving in His way and His timing and I'm so thankful to be a part of it. While I have no idea what the future holds (more than ever), I'm going into this new chapter excited and expectant. It's such an encouraging and peace-giving place to be -- where God is.

 

How Do I Deal With Stress?

Happy Monday, everyone! Is today the epitome of a Monday morning or what?! If you are in the Atlanta area, then you know the monsoon-like weather, crazy traffic jams, and time change adjustment that I am speaking of. Not exactly the most relaxing start to the week! If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, on edge, or just straight up tired this Monday morning, then this post is especially for you! We all have stress in our lives, whether that be Monday morning on a busy week type stress or just everyday life stress. We may think that stress limits itself to those who have a mortgage to pay or food to put on the table or 5 little kids running around, but in fact, stress encompasses all ages. Even our youth are experiencing more stress than we probably did at their age. I found that out last week as I was preparing the lesson for our youth girl's Bible study. I've been part of this particular girl's middle and high school Bible study at our church for almost 2.5 years now. I love investing in young girl's lives especially at this fragile age of peer pressure, awkward middle school years (wasn't it for everyone?!) and coming into your own. I wish I had someone who would have been able to pour spiritual truth and guidance into my life at this age, so I get pretty excited do be able to do that for someone else.

Once in a while, I teach the lesson for the week and this time around, I asked the girls what they wanted me to talk about and what would help them the most. Each week, these girls come to our Bible study with burdens, stresses, and anxiety. They have so much going on in their lives at such a young age and each week they are overwhelmed and just worn out. So to no surprise, they asked me to talk about managing stress and negativity! I thought this was pretty ironic because anyone who knows me knows that I am a very easily stressed individual. I deal with anxiety regularly and usually seem like a little bit of a crazy person compared to my cool-as-a-cucumber, thrives on procrastination, "everything will work out, just relax", scatterbrained but somehow always pulls it off last minute husband. He thrives on the unplanned, spontaneous, and natural eb and flow of life while I retreat to a corner and get out my paper bag to calm my breathing during the potential panic attack that most likely is arising in me during the chaos and confusion of life. Type A personalities unite! God has been teaching me for years about managing stress in my life and it's a constant work in progress for me because I am a natural worrier. Isn't that always how it works though? God uses our weaknesses and stories of restoration to help others by showing them what He's taught us. He rescues us, so that we can then go and rescue others dealing with similar issues. So after some thinking about past experiences and rereading a few posts I've written in this space from the past, I came up with a short list of ways to help deal with stress. This list doesn't just apply to middle and high school girls, but to anyone when they are feeling overwhelmed. I hope these tips bring you some peace and calm next time life gets you down. 

1. Perspective -- the phrase "first-world problems" may be trite, but it has become popular for a reason. During times of major stress in my life, I try to step make and put everything in perspective. It's really easy to get caught up in your particular problem and think the world is coming to an end. Am I the only one who can be a tad on the dramatic side? It's so important to remember to keep perspective. Whatever is causing your anxiety, probably isn't that bad even though in the moment it may seem like it. Sometimes our problems just seem straight up silly and almost laughable when we put them in perspective. I tend to get so sucked into my problems that I forget to take a step back and breathe. When I do, I usually remember how blessed I really am and how a lot of these stresses usually come out of things that are actually blessings in my life. My house is messy? That means I have a roof over my head. I'm not happy about my new responsibilities at work? That means I have a job. My baby is teething and keeping me up all night? That means I'm lucky enough to have a healthy child. My husband left his stuff all over the house again? That means I have someone to share my life with...the good, the bad and the annoying. This method might seem a little corny, but I find that gaining perspective during a difficult time really helps our thankful spirit come out instead of focusing on the negativity. Which brings me to my next point...

2. Positive attitude -- Having a positive attitude is so important these days. I mean have you watched the news recently? It is filled with bad things that are meant to bring us down. It's so easy to be negative in our world today, but a negative attitude is detrimental, especially during stressful seasons of life. I am the first to admit that I sometimes struggle with having a positive attitude and seem to focus on what's going wrong so much more quickly than on what's going right. All this does is accentuate the bad and belittle the good. We define the good and bad in our lives. We have more control over the outlook of our day than we give ourselves credit for. There's always good to outweigh the bad, but we have to evoke the right attitude in order to see that. Plus, who wants to be around someone who is negative and always complaining?! I sure don't. A positive attitude goes a long way in uplifting ourselves on a bad day.

3. Praying -- Are you familiar with the phase, "Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?". I can fall into this trap so easily. It's so effortless to tell people all about your problems, but never bring them to God. I have even been guilty of asking people to pray for me about certain stresses in my life without even praying about them myself. There's a therapeutic aspect to venting to a friend, but I think we often forget about how restorative a conversation with God can be. I find that when I complain to a friend, I might come away feeling better for a little while, but those same problems seem to creep back up. When I bring my struggles to God, He gives me a peace beyond understand and a healing in return. He lifts my burdens off my back and carries them on His own, leaving me feeling weightless and free. Praying takes more discipline than just complaining to a friend or even posting about it on Facebook (yep, we've all done it), but it's a much more beneficial step for us in the end.

4. Past answered prayers -- One of the most powerful ways I deal with stress is thinking about what God has done for me in the past. There are times when I think there's no way a situation is going to work out or a solution to a major problem is ever going to come, but then I stop and think, "Has God ever failed me?". Well....no. I think about the fact that a year ago I had a whole other plethora of problems in my life that have since been resolved. I think about all the prayers I've prayed that have been answered and how God has always given me a solution whether that be something tangible or just letting me know that He is the solution. He's never left me hanging, so why am I thinking He will this time? A calm comes over me when I remember the faithfulness of God in my life knowing that God will continue being reliable and consistent for me.

My Stewardship Journey

Every year my church has a month dedicated to talking about Stewardship. Stewardship is (by definition) an ethic that embodies the responsible planning and management of resources. In short, how have you chosen to manage what God has given you? Each Sunday, a family shares their Stewardship Journey, and at the end of the month, we have a time where we pledge what we will give to the church the upcoming year. Each year as different people share their testimony of giving, I always think of how I also have a story. I'm not one who loves to publicly speak (I save that for my husband who is a preacher) and I certainly am not one who wants to discuss the controversial and even awkward topic of money, but each year I feel God tugging at my heartstrings during this Stewardship month. I couldn't help but feel the urge to share my story of giving, not to draw any attention to myself, but to share of God's constant faithfulness in my life. When I think of this particular topic, I just can't stay silent or deny God's hand print stamped all along this road I've traveled. God has weaved together such a beautiful story of giving, providing, faith and trust in my life that I felt compelled to share my Stewardship Journey.

In high school and college, I would see the offering plates pass during the church service and automatically count myself out. I thought I was somehow exempt from giving to the church. The passages in the Bible about giving weren't directed towards me, but "future me" who had it all together and was living a "comfortable" life. How could God expect anything out of a poor high school or college student? When I graduated college and got a full-time job, I began to feel like my excuses were running out. I started tithing each month and I truly was happy I was finally able to give back to the church that had so heavily poured into me and invested in my life. But in all honesty, it wasn't the biggest sacrifice to give at that point. I was living at home with my mom and had very few bills. But, at least it was a start!

Around that time, Josh and I became engaged. We had many discussions about giving to the church once we were married and we both knew that if we didn't implement this discipline from the start, we may never. There would always be something to stand in our way if we let it. So once we got married, we tithed each month. Some months were harder than others, but we always gave something. And God always provided. At that point, we were newlyweds living in a basement apartment in Atlanta and we weren't making much money. We didn't have much, but we always had exactly what we needed. In December of 2013, we bought our first home. It was a dream that I didn't even think would be possible for years to come, but we managed to make it happen and were thrilled about this huge step in our lives. But as everyone knows, "with great power comes great responsibility". We had more, but we also had more to pay for, take care of and manage.

At this point, Josh was still in seminary full-time and working at the church part-time and I was working full-time in Atlanta. While we were working extremely hard, we were struggling to make ends meet. We were staying afloat, but barely. There were many months that we seriously debated not tithing. We could have easily justified it, especially when we added up how much we were tithing each year. It was hard to see those numbers and know what a helpful impact that would have made in other areas of our life. It felt like such a sacrifice and one that I was struggling to make. We were a very young couple who had very little and it would have been easy to tell ourselves that it was okay not to give and somehow talk ourselves out of it. But despite all of the opposition we felt, we continued to give. But I'll be honest; it was a little begrudgingly on my part.

Around this time, I felt like God really moved in my life in the area of stewardship. Being a good steward is effectively managing what God has given you, but that's what I was struggling to see. In my mind, my money, my things, my house, my work ethic, the things I had worked so hard for....they were just that, mine. I finally had the revelation that I was holding on so tightly to things that actually weren't mine, they were God's. I was the first to say how much God had blessed me, but I wasn't willing to admit that everything I had was because of Him. Everything I had was His. It was really easy to look at the things I had and think, "I worked hard for those things. I earned those things on my own." But in actuality, God had given me a job. He had blessed me with parents who taught me how to work hard and how to manage my money well. God had given me the motivation, dedication, and passions that I had. When I finally accepted that everything I had wasn't even mine to begin with, giving became a whole lot easier. I began to understand the true concept of stewardship which is managing what God has given me not hoarding and keeping from God what was His to begin with. I also started to understand the concept that giving didn't mean just giving my money. Giving meant sharing my time, talents, abilities, and spiritual gifts with the church, the church body, and my community. God gave me those gifts to share with others, not keep to myself.

While this concept might seem constraining or even imprisoning to some, it has been the most freeing experience for me. If anything, it has opened my eyes up to all that God has given me. And wow, I am one blessed woman! Instead of feeling like nothing is mine, I am filled with peace knowing these things are God's, I am God's and God takes care of His sheep. This is where my story gets emotional for me and if you have made it this far in reading this, I promise this is where I was going all along. God has provided for me and my family in phenomenal ways. I am a worrier by nature and I cannot tell you how many times I was convinced that we weren't going to make it, but we have never, ever gone without. God has given my family exactly what we need right when we need it and not a second sooner. This journey has pushed my faith and trust in Christ in ways I had never experienced. I have been forced to rely on Him to come through for me and He always does. We have received everything from used furniture, diapers for my son, used toys & clothes, money for a suit for my husband to preach in, random bonuses at work, extra scholarship money that came from out of nowhere, jobs openings that came right in time, discounts on services because my husband is a clergy member, meals and extra food galore, free babysitting...I could seriously go on and on and on. We have been blessed with the most amazing church family who have literally been the hands and feet of Jesus to my family and who God has used to bless our family more than they will ever know. Not only has God provided for us with monetary things, but He has also blessed us with amazing relationships with people that we would have never had the pleasure of knowing had we not relied on Him for all we have.

While this journey has been a difficult one for me, I can say it has allowed me to testify of the goodness of God in my life. What I love about a testimony is that it's your story and no one, no matter who they are and what they believe, can argue or mess with your experience. It belongs to you and it is precious and deserves to be treasured. God has always provided for me. He has never fallen short and He has never failed me. God has never abandoned me. I am continuing to learn to trust Him with all that I have and all that I am. It isn't always easy, but I can assure you that if you give yourself to God and trust Him with all that you have, God will enrich and bless your life in immeasurable and unexplainable ways. It is now my joy and honor to give because God gave and continues to give to me. 

"Bloom Where You Are Planted"

This week has been tough for me. There are a lot of changes coming my way and I haven't been the most accepting of deviating from my comfortable and familiar path. In fact, I feel like I've resisted change to the best of my ability. While some people might be excited by fresh starts and new chapters, I am petrified. I like routine and familiarity. I like knowing what to expect and how it's all going to unfold. This probably roots back to my need to be in control and to have the ability to define and select the environment in which I feel like I will do well. I've convinced myself that I need certain conditions to not only survive, but to succeed.

I saw this quote this week and it really struck me. "Bloom Where You Are Planted". Wow, how powerful. Here I am thinking that I can only "bloom" under my chosen circumstances, my wants, and my preferences. I am holding on to the reins so tightly that I am probably close to losing circulation. Since when did I become so close-minded that I don't trust God to direct where I am "planted" and then help me prosper there? I saw this quote and immediately thought that this needs to be my new motto. I can't rely on comfort and fear of change to be my foundation and stipulations for growth in my life. I can't put limitations on how God is going to work. I want to be the type of person and the type of Christian who can blossom anywhere because I have God on my side. And because I have God directing my life. I want to be able to jump knowing that wherever He is taking me, I can trust Him. I want to be someone who finds the positive wherever I go and survives and flourishes wherever God sees fit to put me. Who am I to put restrictions on what God can do?

Slowly, I am opening the door to change and trying to shove fear and doubt out of my mind. This motto is my prayer, for myself and for my family. May we be people who bloom, flourish, and succeed anywhere God takes us. No restrictions, no limits, and no holding back. I owe it to everyone, including myself, to open up my mind to the idea that if God is truly directing my steps, then the only reason I won't thrive will be because of myself. He won't call me and then leave me hanging. He will finish out His work in me wherever I am called. God will ensure I "bloom", if I only let Him "plant" me. Ready or not, I'm jumping!

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." -Philippians 1:6

God Is Making Things Happen For You (Are you watching?)

This quote above is one of my favorites. I think of it often and go back to it during the times where I don't feel God's answers to be as evident as I would like. It's encouraging to me to know that God is always working, in and around me, for His glory and my good. I read this, feel uplifted, and go on with my day. But the struggle comes when I forget this truth. The challenge comes when I forget to look for God's handprint in my life and I lose perspective. It's so easy to find myself never satisfied, always wanting more.


How often do we beg God for something and then once we get it...we immediately become unsatisfied with something else in our lives and go running to God to fix that as well? We don't even take the time to be thankful for our answered prayer and slow down enough to realize God is actively working in our lives in big and small ways.

I realized I was doing this recently when it came to my work life. Before I had Grayson, I dreamed of being able to work part-time and have the opportunity to stay home with him a few days a week. At the time, we didn't think this would be financially possible. Josh and I made the decision that I would go back to work full-time after having our baby. I was devastated and could barely even think about it. The daunting thought of having to go back to work creeped in during my entire 6 week maternity leave. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of leaving my 6 week old baby to go back to work full-time. I went back for exactly a day and a half before making the decision that I had to go part-time. I talked to my boss immediately and she said it would be possible for me to go part-time. Problem-solved or in other words, prayer answered. Josh and I were nervous about being able to make it financially with me only working part-time. Well, we aren't rich that's for sure, but we are making it! God has provided for us whether that be through unexpected raises and bonuses or a sweet friend giving us used baby clothes and a church member dropping off a box of diapers for us. Every little bit counts and has helped us. Another prayer was answered. Josh was even able to go full-time at his job as associate pastor at our church this summer which allows me to be home more. Another example of God's hand in our lives.

While I was so happy to only work 3 days a week, I had to give up a lot of responsibility at work. I'm not doing as much now and not in charge of as much because I am there half the time. Because of that, I don't always feel as challenged as I would like at my job. Recently, I was down about that and instead of remembering how far God had brought me to allow me to stay at home more with my son, I focused on the negative. I focused on the part I had to give up in order for God to bless me. I also still hated commuting to and from Buckhead 3 days a week. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate commuting and how much it affects my life. I may have been working less, but on the days I did work, I would literally be almost in tears because the traffic would keep me away for added time. The drive would put me in an awful mood and it just became a burden in my life. One day, I was 30 minutes late picking up my son and I actually cried because I had been away from him for so long that day. I was in the car for an hour and a half trying to get to him after work and I had reached my limit. Soon after that, my company began hiring new people and it became a possibility for me to leave work an hour earlier. This might sound minor, but for a commuter, it's a big deal. I can get home in 40 minutes as opposed to an hour plus. And I am in a much happier mood when I reach my doorstep! Another prayer answered.

We moved offices at work recently and I found myself separated from most of my co-workers doing a job that is very basic and not extremely fulfilling for me. I was really bummed about it Monday and I felt lonely and left-out because I am away from everyone. Then I had a big wake-up call. How can I possibly complain at all about my work situation? God has been so good to me through all of this. How can I not be thankful for what He's done and lose perspective that fast? He has answered so many prayers over and over. And yet, only I could find a reason to still be unhappy and want more. I quickly reminded myself of all the ways God has moved in this situation and became overwhelmed with gratitude. I don't think I had even realized how much God had been working until I pieced it all together. And wow. That was just a tiny fraction of my life and God had it handled. And me? Well, I forgot that all too quickly and let negativity and anxiety take over instead of letting peace and praise fill me up.

God is working. All the time. Are we looking, opening our eyes, and being grateful in return? Or are we constantly asking for something more with discontent? It's easy to focus on the things in my life that I wish were better or different, but there is so much peace to be had when I realize that the things I want and need are slowly coming to be...all in His timing.

"The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:5-7

Perspective: It's a Beautiful Thing

Recently, my life has been a roller coaster. Each day there is some new issue or change, completely lacking consistency. I go through about 20 emotions in a day and find myself on different highs and lows throughout the same day. While this could definitely be contributed to pregnancy (third trimester, at that), I've always been one to give in to emotions and let them control me. I get sucked in to how I feel in the moment and forget to hold tight to reality. The older I get, the more I am realizing that life (a joyful one) is all about perspective. Lately, my life has been hectic, but I've also been so very blessed. I've had a few stressful situations arise, but I've also seen God directly answer my prayers. There have been things that haven't gone my way, but my friends and family have stepped up and shown so much love and support. Money has been tight, but God has provided in incredible ways. There has been so much good that it's hard to even acknowledge the bad: that's perspective and it's a beautiful thing.

The Bible says to, "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." In the world we live in today, that's not always the easiest task. In the past month alone, the news has been filled with cases of Ebola spreading in the U.S. and the latest ISIS attack and capture. It's a scary and not always so pretty world that we live in. Despite the negative images and conversation that surround us each day and can so easily entangle us, I still think there is so much good left in the world. If you take the time to look for it and meditate on it, you will find it. You will see it in the young cashier helping the sweet older man carry his groceries, in the mother kissing her children as she sends them off to school, and in someone taking the time to bake you some cookies to show their appreciation for all your hard work. You will see it when you remember how quickly life passes and how you are one of the lucky ones that is still alive and given the opportunity to make a difference today. I have been reminded so many times recently that no matter how bad our situation is, someone else always has it worse. So yes, those are simple examples, but hey, some people don't even have that to pull from. For me, each time I feel my baby kick, I am reminded of how good life is and how blessed I am. Having a little miracle growing inside of you quickly puts your life into perspective. The problems seem so insignificant compared to the simple joys we have been given. These are the things are need to remember when life gets tough. We are the lucky ones. Again, perspective.

Some days it's so difficult to find the good. We stress and get so flustered about a particular problem and once that issue is solved, we move right on to the next crisis. We forget to give thanks for the answer to our previous problem and the things that are going right in our lives. For me, it's been medical bills, work, baby preparation, and so many other things that consume my life and sometimes derail me from an attitude of praise. Despite anything difficult I've experienced recently, when I step back and put my life into perspective I can honestly say that I've never been more blessed. Josh and I have had so many people help us in more ways than I can even count. Our family, friends, church members, and co-workers have given their time and energy to us to make us feel so loved and appreciated. They have saved us and supported us when we had so much to get done that we couldn't even see straight. We have felt encouragement from all sides. Our baby hasn't even arrived yet and is already so loved and prayed for. I am lucky enough to carry my baby, have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby which is more than many can say. People have been so incredibly giving and generous to our family that it blows my mind. God has made a way for us when there didn't seem to be one. All that to say, God has been so, so good to us. And we can't forget that when the first hardship hits. We must cling tightly to perspective and an attitude of gratitude.  

Yes, it's easy to get caught up in all the things in life that aren't true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. But putting your life in perspective is one of the best things you could ever do for yourself and your family. That's what I've been learning lately. I'm alive and healthy. I'm loved and cared for. This is all I need. Everything else is just icing on the cake and when I put my life in perspective, I have a lot of icing! :)

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

We all dread it, maybe some more than others, but know it's a necessary part of life: the nerve-racking experience of getting out of your comfort zone that is! If you are like me, it's usually awkward and filled with nervous moments. There's that little bit of fear in the pit of your stomach knowing that you aren't quite sure what's coming next, but you really wish you had a clue. As my 26th birthday rapidly approaches (less than 2 days!), I can say that getting out of your comfort zone is such an important part of life and allows us to be challenged. It's really one of the only ways we can experience growth. I have always been very hesitant at trying new things, afraid of what could possibly happen. I think about being judged, failing, what others will think, and how I won't know exactly what to do as I embark on the unknown path. These things usually hold me back from experiencing more. As I close out this year of my life and begin a new one, getting out of my comfort zone is at the top of my list for my 26th year on this earth. Since this year will also include having a baby, I'm sure this will be an easy goal to accomplish ;) I want to not be afraid to try everything and anything. Life is so short, ya'll. Like ridiculously short. It's already flying by for me. I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize I was too fearful of getting out of my comfort zone that I missed out on the most exciting things in life, which usually start out by taking a shaky step into the unknown.

Recently, my Sunday school class started a study on prayer. You might be wondering how this all ties in? Well, I have always been a little fearful of prayer. Prayer requires intimacy with God. It requires discipline. Prayer requires getting out of your comfort zone. I've never been the best with prayer. I've always wanted to be better, but then other things catch my attention and I soon forgot my goal. I can't sit still long enough to focus on God and always feel a little awkward when I do. I thought, there's no way I could ever develop a prayer life like these other awesome Christians that I know. They pray for hours on end, I couldn't possibly do that! I was intimidated and almost too afraid to even try.

All these doubts filled my head: What would I talk about for that long? I'll probably sound awkward. My prayers won't sound eloquent enough. I won't sound smart enough or "Christian" enough. What if I don't feel how I'm supposed to feel while being in God's presence? What if I just sound selfish? God doesn't care about my petty problems. I'll feel guilty for not coming to Him enough. Wow, I'm a horrible person for not praying more especially because there are so many people in my life that need prayer.

Needless to say, I knew when we started this book on prayer that I would be pushed out of my comfort zone. I knew I would need to practice praying more and knew it was something I seriously slacked on. I usually avoided it because I didn't want to deal with the unknown. We are a few weeks into the study and I am slowly breaking down these prayer barriers I have built. I've been trying to push myself during those moments I know God is calling me to pray. I've been carving out time to be with Him. I've been making lists of people in my life who need prayer and been actively trying to pray for them. I've even sat in silence and prayed. And you know what? It wasn't that bad, in fact, it's been really great! Yeah, it usually starts off a little rocky, but by the end I'm more comfortable than ever.

Today, I went on a walk during my lunch break. I've been trying to get out and go walking more lately while the weather is so beautiful. I typically listen to worship music on my walks and find myself spending time with God in that way. While that is great, I could feel God tugging at my heart to turn off the music and just talk to Him. I usually don't listen to that tugging and continue on with my music, convincing myself that worship music is plenty pleasing to God. While it definitely is, I know God wanted more from me and He also wanted me to experience more. So today, I decided to turn off my music and step outside of my comfort zone which included walking in silence while praying to God. Yes, I've done this before, but I wanted to really push myself and make it more than just a few minutes of prayer. I started praying and soon couldn't stop. When I finished my walk, I realized I had prayed without ceasing for a whole 20 minutes...quite an accomplishment for me. :)

Getting out of my comfort zone paid off today because I got to experience a special time with God that I wouldn't have if I had just stuck with what was easy and known to me. This is one specific example in my life, but trust me, there are so many more areas where I need to step out of my comfort zone. It's scary, yet so rewarding. Life is short and fleeting, so why not take risks and push ourselves even when it's uncomfortable? What do we have to lose? There are so many times playing it safe is the best option, but not always. The older I get I realize that the best things in life usually start off a little scary and take risk. You may feel silly or awkward giving them a try. You may have no idea what people will think or what will come out of taking that chance. But the experience that comes with trying and succeeding at something new because you found the courage to get out of your comfort zone is so much sweeter than playing it safe ever could be.

Being Still Before God: A Look Behind My Chaotic Life

We all have mess. We all have issues. We all have lots of stuff going on. Everyone has things in their lives that don't quite look like they had planned. Some days it seems like everything is under control despite the laundry list of tasks to get accomplished we all have in the back of our minds. Other days, the chaos of life takes control and it all becomes a little too overwhelming. That is how last week went for me.

Right now, I have a lot going on. I work 40 plus hours a week, commute, clean, cook, and keep our household organized. I am active in my church and with our youth group. I spend time with friends and family. I pay bills, budget our limited income and resources, grocery shop, take care of our dog and meal plan. I'm expecting, a new mom-to-be, and trying to have a healthy pregnancy. I'm planning for the next 5 months before the baby arrives and the 5 months after the baby is here. I'm preparing for motherhood and still working on being a better spouse to my husband. Like I said, I have a lot going on. My mind is always busy thinking about what I need to get done and scheming about how to best accomplish it all. The problem is that I'm a multi-tasker, a controller, a fixer, and a perfectionist. I'm also hormonal! These qualities put together can be a toss-up of the key to my success or my ultimate downfall.

I started off last week with a lot on my plate which is pretty typical, but each day the weight on my shoulders just got heavier. There were a lot of unexpected expenses that came up and my to-do list wasn't getting checked off quick enough before another set of tasks were piled on. I was extremely stressed and had way too much going on. My mind was racing trying to figure out exactly how I was going to get it all accomplished and I soon became irritable, tense, and on the verge of a breakdown. I took all of these burdens on as my own and felt like I needed to be the one to fix all of them. Instead of relying on God, I let my circumstances and emotions get the best of me. Finally, something small happened and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. The flood gates opened and I was an emotional wreck. This buildup I had been experiencing and holding in all week finally came out. I felt defeated and scared. I was overwhelmed and there was no quick fix solution to make it all go away. The stress I had put on myself was creating stress and tension in other relationships in my life and I'm sure most people were steering clear of me by the end of the week because I was just a wreck and not very fun to be around. Life had beaten me down and I couldn't quite figure out how to get back up.

This week, I'm putting last week behind me and starting fresh. After I finally broke down, I realized how much of this I had been holding on to and holding inside. I was holding on for dear life unwilling to relinquish control. I hadn't been praying about it and I hadn't even tried to give my burdens to God. I was trying to do it all myself and let's face it, it wasn't working out so well. God spoke to me a lot this weekend and reminded me that each day presents challenges of its own. I need to come to Him every day and lay my burdens at His feet. It isn't a one-time thing, but a continual process. If I don't do this daily, I am missing out on the full and abundant life that God intends for me. I hadn't been resting in Him and I could tell because I felt emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. The constant battle I was fighting had taken all the energy I had. I hadn't been still before God, in fact I hadn't sat still all week. I was too busy running around like a crazy lady checking off a to-do list and worrying about problems that can't be resolved in one day. This week, I'm practicing giving up all my troubles to God and allowing Him to fill me with peace, knowing He has it under control. I am going to wipe my hands clean of the things I can't control or fix and accept that I can only do so much with the things I do have the ability to control. The Lord will fight for me; all I have to do is be still.

God can make something beautiful out of a mess. He can restore hurting relationships and rejuvenate our tired souls. He can accomplish things beyond our wildest dreams. God offers us rest, hope, peace and restoration. He will fill us up and allow us to keep going when we feel like we don't have the strength to go on...if we would only just let Him. If any of this resonates with you, I challenge you to lay all of your troubles at God's feet and just be still before Him. Relinquish that control.You might be amazed at what He can do once we finally let go. Like I said, we all have messes in our lives, but how we deal with it is really what defines us.

Our Story

Today marks 3 years since Josh and I began dating! It's been a whirlwind and I wouldn't change it for anything. In light of today, I am feeling quite nostalgic and started thinking back on our story from the beginning. We get questions all the time about how we met and started dating, so I thought I would share a little bit of our story.

Most people don't know that Josh and I were actually friends for a year before we ever began dating. We met in May of 2010 through a mutual friend. My best friend, Caylyn, and Josh both went to the same college and were already good friends. I went to visit Caylyn the weekend after my junior year of college ended to kick off the summer. While I was there, I met Josh. He came over late one night after getting off work at Papa John's. He was in his uniform and covered with dough, but I instantly knew there was something different about him. It's funny because I remember being interested in him immediately. I knew he was a good, Christian guy and he was fun to be around. I also knew I needed more people like this in my life. I left GCSU that weekend thinking that he was a nice guy who I wanted to get to know more. I then asked to be his Facebook friend, so technically I originally initiated it ;)

We talked over Facebook chat for over a year and got to know each other a lot that way. We both enjoyed talking to each other and would stay up late into the night getting to know each other more. It slowly developed into a solid friendship. Although there was always a spark between us, the fact that we lived almost 3 hours away from each other (I lived in Carrollton and he lived in Irwinton), discouraged anything more from ever developing between us...until the next summer.

I went on a mission trip to South Korea in May of 2011 and because Josh had also gone on many international mission trips, we began talking much more frequently. Little did I know that he was actually starting to pursue me. We talked more after I got back from my trip and one day he decided to call me. We talked for hours. Calling turned into Skyping and soon enough we were spending a lot of time in communication with each other through calls, texts, Facebook chat, Skyping, etc. I was completely blind to the entire thing though! I was in a place where I really wasn't looking for a relationship. I had told God that I needed a break from guys and wasn't going to be looking for a boyfriend any time soon. Well, God and Josh had a different plan. At that point, I thought of Josh as a really good friend and loved his company. I was content being single, so I wasn't pushing for anything more. I do remember thinking, there's no way my future husband is someone I already know (not realizing that he was actually right under my nose the entire time). After heavily pursing me without my knowledge, Josh finally asked me out on a date. (Apparently everyone was aware this was going to happen except me). I thought; why not give him a shot? And the rest is history.

We only went on two dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend and I happily said yes. It all happened so fast, yet it had been building up for a year. Starting a relationship with Josh was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Our relationship was different than anything I had ever experienced and I was immediately smitten. I knew this guy was different than anyone else. He was my best friend and we had so much fun together. We could talk for hours and the conversation never got dull. Josh is such a wonderful, Godly man and a perfect match for me! Since July of 2011, our life together has been far from boring. We started off driving 3 hours to see each other every weekend and visiting each other as much as possible. Josh was finishing his last semester of college, accepting the call to seminary, and transitioning into post-college life while trying to find a "real" job. I had just graduated college and moved back home. I was bouncing around from job to job and was really trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. We came into each other's lives at the perfect time, but it was far from simple.

We have been through a long distance relationship, college, seminary, moving, new churches, new jobs, engagement, marriage, buying our first house, and now expecting our first child. Transition is a word I would use to describe the past 3 years. We have been constantly transitioning from one thing to the next with little stability. The one thing that has remained solid throughout everything has been our relationship. We are far from perfect as is our relationship, but we are genuinely so happy together. We bring out the best in each other and challenge each other to be better. We have worked hard for our relationship, but at the same time, it's always come easily and been very natural. I have never laughed so hard or had so much fun as I have in the past 3 years. I'm so thankful to have Josh by my side through thick and thin to encourage me, love me, and continuously pursue me. God blessed me with a man and a marriage that far exceeded my expectations for myself and I couldn't be more grateful.

So, that's our story. Here's to all the blank pages still left to be filled with amazing memories and adventures. I can't wait for our future together because I know the best is yet to come!

 

My First Trimester: Is This Normal?

So if you were one of those women who had an awful, head hanging over the toilet, nauseous every second, completely miserable first trimester...you might want to stop reading now. I'm here to tell you a little bit about my first trimester. I am 14 weeks, so I have officially cleared the first trimester and am headed into the second. While I am glad to be in the second trimester (because that's one step closer to meeting my baby!), I have to be honest and say that my body doesn't feel much different than it did in the first.

I was one of those freak of nature people or at least I thought I was. I'm learning that this is a little more common than I thought. I had very few pregnancy symptoms and might have felt nauseous twice for about 10 minutes total. I never threw up, never even got close. I didn't have any food aversions and wasn't ridiculously tired. My stomach looked very similar to how it had started out pre-pregnancy and I was never showing. I did experience some of the typical first trimester madness including sore/tender breasts, constipation, being very emotional, bloating/cramping, being thirsty all the time and one bout of dizziness/fainting a few weeks ago. These symptoms all came and went throughout my first trimester, so I never felt overwhelmed with all of them at once. I did battle some weight fluctuation and tiredness during points in my first trimester, but those were largely due to the fact that my thyroid levels were very off (hypo) and are still trying to get adjusted to pregnancy. For the most part, I felt normal. I carried on with life just as I had before I got pregnant and felt great while doing it. All in all, my first trimester was a breeze.

Fun fact: I craved greasy/savory foods during my first trimester. I wanted pizza, fries and breakfast foods (sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddles/breakfast casserole) which were very abnormal for me.

 Most people have said how lucky I am or how jealous they are. My doctor told me to just enjoy it! I must admit that I spent a lot of my time during my first trimester worrying. I was terrified that I didn't feel like crap. All I had heard were the horror stories from women about their first trimesters. I didn't know of hardly anyone who didn't spend the first 13 weeks huddled over the toilet and feeling nauseous the whole time. I tried to enjoy it, but it also scared me. I had always heard that if you are getting sick that means the baby is "healthy". So by logical deduction I could only conclude what it meant if I wasn't getting sick. Turns out, most of those myths are completely untrue and are first trimester misconceptions at their worst. I wanted to write this blog to encourage women out there who are going through their first trimester. Whether you are feeling awful or whether you are questioning if there is actually a baby inside you because you don't feel any different...every pregnancy is different, but most still result in healthy babies.

After I started telling people I was pregnant, the first question I got was, "How are you feeling?" When I said I had a really easy first trimester, I was surprised at how many women said it had been the same for them! I had no idea. I assumed something was wrong with me or my baby and spent so much time being scared and questioning the validity of my pregnancy. It seems like it's very common to hear about the horror stories and not quite as common to talk about the easy, totally doable first trimesters. If only women would talk and encourage each other more often, so that we aren't all left in the dark!

My faith was also tested and strengthened during my first trimester and I think that's something that stands out about the past 14 weeks. I've never depended on God so much. There is only so much I can do to make sure this tiny human life inside me is safe and healthy, the rest is up to Him. Pregnancy has brought out a lot of anxiety from within me that I am still battling, but it has also drawn me closer to God. I have seen how good and faithful He is. In those moments of panic, God gave me the peace I needed. I have to trust Him each step of the way. I know worrying about my child won't go away once he/she leaves the womb; in fact it will only get worse! I have to lay my baby's life in God's hands knowing that He will watch over and care for my baby throughout his/her whole life (before birth included). I know my child is in God's hands and that's what got me through the moments of doubt and fear so far in my pregnancy.

I'll be interested to see how the second trimester compares with the first and I'll definitely keep my blog updated on how it's going. But in the meantime, I just want to encourage those girls in their first trimester.

Don't freak out. Don't panic. Relax. Trust God. Everything will be okay. Try to ENJOY this!

Mission Trips Part 2 -- Mississippi (Disaster Relief)

Good morning! It's time for another installment of "Mission Trips" documenting my mission trip experiences thus far. This post I am going to share about my first mission trip experience -- going to Mississippi to do disaster relief work.

 

I finally got up the nerve to sign up for a mission trip the summer after my sophomore year of college (summer 2009). It seemed like a great idea at the time. The trip was somewhat local, in Mississippi, and it was only a week long. I thought this would be a perfect starter trip for me! I went with 4 other college students and a great college campus BCM leader. We loaded up the van and set out for our destination. The first few hours were a little stressful because I quickly realized that I had forgotten my cell phone. It wasn't the biggest deal in the world, but being that it was my first mission trip, it would have been nice to communicate with my family while I was away. (Some of the girls let me use their cell phones throughout the trip to call my mom and it was probably a blessing to not have a big distraction like my phone.) I also got really nervous about an hour into the drive. It finally hit me that I was going on my first mission trip, something I had never experienced, with people I hardly knew. Luckily, that anxious feeling faded quickly. The trip ended up being a blast!

 

Our purpose for this particular mission trip was to assist with disaster relief work. We stayed at a little camp with cabins, bathrooms, and an eating area. There were other groups there too and each day the different groups would set out on different disaster relief projects around the area. This particular area of Mississippi was hit very hard by Hurricane Katrina. There was still so much damage in the area that hadn't even been touched 4 years later. Funny enough, we actually got assigned to do most of our work on the property of the camp. We helped shovel, move things around, and clean out spaces. It was definitely not the glamorous part of helping with disaster relief. We were assigned to do the stuff that wouldn't get recognized and that people might not even know about. But that was the beauty of it. Our group learned a lot about humility during that trip. We worked hard during the days and hung out with the different groups at night. I really bonded with all the girls on the trip and they soon became comforting to be around while I was away from home.

 

We also visited New Orleans on our one afternoon off during the trip. It was so much fun! It was my first time in "Nawlins" and I loved it. We toured the city, ate delicious sea food, and went to Café Du Monde for dessert. If you have never been to New Orleans, I highly recommend it. It's a beautiful city, the kind where you can just walk the streets and be entertained. I also recommend going to Café Du Monde because the beignets and hot chocolate are out of this world. (Josh and I went there for a night on our honeymoon and I loved it just as much as the first time!)

A random part of this trip was finding a litter of puppies at the camp during our stay. They had no home, so a girl in our group volunteered to take them back with us. Her aunt had a farm for them to live at. We made the 8 hour drive back to Atlanta with these adorable pups in tow. Needless to say, I was in love with them. But it's really funny to think back about how crazy we were and how nice our leader was to allow us to bring them along for the ride.

 

My first mission trip to Mississippi do to disaster relief work was such a great experience for me. It drew me closer to God and allowed me to develop many friendships on the trip. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and was surprise at how easily I adapted. If you have never been on a mission trip, you should totally do it! Some of my fondest memories are experiences I have had and the people I have met on mission trips. You really bond with everyone around you, but most importantly, you learn so much about yourself. It's a great learning experience and a tangible way to deepen your faith.

 

 

 

 

Mission Trips - Part 1

In light of the adventure I am about to go on this summer (on a mission trip to Costa Rica), I thought I would highlight each of the other mission trips I have gone on up until now. I get a lot of questions about the locations and the activities done on the trips, so I am going to take the opportunity to share the details and pictures from each of my mission trip experiences.

I have to start off by saying that I am by no means some mission trip expert. Because of my testimony, you may already know that I didn't even become a Christian until late high school/early college. From there, it took me a few years to settle into my faith before I felt confident enough to go on a mission trip to share the Gospel. Although this is the way I thought it should be handled, I will say that you are never too young in your faith to share it with others and serve others. Once I truly gave my life over to Christ during my sophomore year of college, I felt an immediate tugging on my heart to do missions. I knew it was my duty as a Christian to get out there and share the Good News with others. It was my duty to selflessly serve others and be a light of Christ to them. If I wasn't willing to do this, who would?

I was a part of a wonderful ministry in college called the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministries) and they really helped shape and form me into a more mature and less intimidated Christian. They offered a program called Summer Missions where students from all the BCM's in Georgia would raise money all year long and at the end of the year, the money would go into a big pot. That money was then used to send any college student that wanted to (there were no restrictions) on a mission trip over the summer. They had summer-long trips and week-long trips. They had trips to different towns within Georgia and trips to different continents. Little did I understand at the time, how much of a blessing and amazing opportunity this was. I went on three trips through this program: Mississippi, Brunswick, and South Korea. All three were great experiences and cost free, which is a big deal for a broke college student. This program provided us with opportunities that we would never have been able to afford otherwise. I also went on two trips through the BCM over two different Spring Breaks: San Diego and Texas.

So there you have it: a summary of my mission experiences thus far. I am going to do this as a series, so that I can go into each trip in detail without making one long, massive post. Hope you enjoy hearing about my experiences on the mission field! I would love to hear about yours! :)

Costa Rica

I am here to tell you a little bit about our big adventure this summer. We are so excited to be going on a mission trip to Alajuela, Costa Rica. Alajuela is the second-largest city in Costa Rica after the capital, San José. Alajuela and its surroundings are famed for having "the best weather in the world". There is also a mountain, a rain forest, and the ocean within a small area -- such a variety! The main exports of the region are coffee, sugar-cane, maize, beans, tobacco, citrus fruits, strawberries, tubers like cassava, flowers and ornamental plants. I have been told that if you want to try the freshest fruits, then you need to go to Alajuela. If you aren't quite sure where that is (like I was), here is a map :)



















We are taking the trip with a group from Josh's dad's non-profit, Unto the Least of His. Josh and I are quite excited because it will be our first mission trip together. We have both done many trips, but we know there will be a special aspect added while serving with your spouse. Josh has actually been on this trip many times, so he is much more familiar with the area. I have never even been close to Costa Rica and I can't wait to see all that there is in this beautiful country.

We will be there for 1 week and we will be doing a variety of activities. Our team will be running a Vacation Bible School for the week. We will be working with the local children and teaching them about the Bible, as well as, building relationships with them. We will also be doing service projects and helping out with construction related things in the community.

The local language is Spanish and rice and beans is a very common meal there. I have been told to expect that particular dish almost every day. The area we will be visiting is very poor and the people there have very little. Our goal is to love on these people and encourage them while we are there. We want to share the hope of Jesus with people who might feel hopeless.

We have created a fun video to tell you more about our mission trip to Costa Rica. Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/91854798

If you are interested in supporting our trip, please visit our GoFundMe.com website. :)

http://www.gofundme.com/joshandbrittanytocr

"God Made Dirt, Dirt Don't Hurt"

Happy Tuesday, everyone! If you live in Georgia, then I'm sure you are doing the happy dance right along with me because the sun is out today! After a gloomy, stormy day yesterday, it is refreshing and encouraging to see some sunshine.

This weekend was quite a busy one for me and I got a lot done. My biggest accomplishment by far was cleaning the house. I don't say the world cleaning lightly. To be more accurate, I should probably say I spent all of Saturday scrubbing the house.  I am the kind of person who likes organization and for everything to be in its place. I don't like things on the floors and I can say that most of the time my house is picked up and not a disaster zone. But, I don't enjoy actually cleaning: wiping things off, vacuuming, mopping, sweeping, getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the bathroom, etc. Nope, that's not really my thing. One of the joys of our new home is the space while one of the challenges of our new home is the space. We love having more room, but every wife knows the more space you have, the more there is to clean. Let's just say I haven't made this "deep cleaning" thing a ritual or a weekly ordeal. I definitely should, but I'm just not there yet. With all that being said, although the laundry was done and everything around the house was picked up, I was shocked at how long it took me to clean a seemingly put together home. I literally cleaned every surface of our house (knowing that it will be some time before this "spring cleaning fever" strikes again).  Throughout my cleaning venture, I discovered my house was a lot dirtier than I expected and the process of really getting the house to really "shine" was much more time consuming than I would have guessed.

The process of "deep cleaning" my house reminded so much of life, especially our spiritual lives. How often do we breeze through without taking the time to focus on the details?  It's easier to skip over the mess and hard work that we know would be involved in cleaning it up. You can glance at your spiritual life like I glanced around my house and convince yourself that there's nothing more to be done, but we all know that's not true. It takes courage and honesty to take a self-inventory of our spiritual lives and it's scary to see what we might find. We know that God is calling us to dip deeper and push harder, but that requires facing what can sometimes be a dirty mess.We would rather go on in ignorant bliss than deal with all the emotions and fears that lie within those crevasses and cracks. God is challenging us to stop going through the motions and really let Him prune us and put us through the fire, so that we can come out molded into something even better on the other side. Exposing the buildup of gunk in your life to God is scary, but that's where the blessing is. We don't want Him to be like a guest in our house and pile all of the junk under the bed before He comes over. We need to be transparent about our spiritual lives with the Lord in order to be transformed. In the Bible it says that God "makes beauty from ashes". He takes the "dirt" in our lives and turns it into something beautiful. He looks at the things we aren't proud of, the things we regret, and the things we aren't very good at and then smiles at us, reassuring us that He loves us no matter what. That love is what makes us whole again. That love is what cleanses and renews us. Only God has the power to do that. Hiding those darker spots in our lives won't give God the opportunity to do something great with them.

Like I said, it's easy to go through the motions when it comes to your faith. It's easy to do the parts that come easily for you and avoid steps of faith that you know will be hard and require work.  It's easy to hide from the "dirt" in our lives without ever exposing it to God because we just don't want to deal with it. And it was easy for me to go on for months glancing at my house convincing myself that it was "clean". I knew how much work it would require to get it where it needed to be. I knew I would find spots along that way that I wasn't proud of. I knew I would find more dirt than I cared to see. But at the end of my Saturday, my house looked good! After a lot of scrubbing and accepting that I really don't do it as much as I need to, those dirty spots were washed away. The awesome thing about Jesus is that the hard work is only found in getting up the guts to share our whole selves with Him, dirt and all. After that, He does the work. He loves us. He accepts us. He transforms us. All we have to be is willing to "clean our house".

From Ordinary to Extraordinary

My life has become so routine. I get up at the same time each day. I have the same work schedule. I eat the same breakfast. I am around most of the same people on a daily basis. The older I get, the more I find myself falling into this repetitive schedule without even thinking about it. Some days I feel discouraged and think, how could God ever use me with this ordinary (almost boring) life I lead? How can God work in the routine, the mundane, and the ordinary? Do you ever feel like your life has to be something extravagant for God to be at work?

When I was in college, I had the opportunity to go on many mission trips. It was one of my favorite things to do because I knew I was going to get a front row seat watching God work and move. I knew I was going to see Him throughout the trip and I was always excited to experience Him through new people and places. I traveled to South Korea for a mission trip after I graduated college and I remember being taken aback by all the beautiful people I had the opportunity to meet and the breathtaking views I was able to see. In those moments, God was so obvious to me. He was there and He was working. I could just feel it and see it each day. I felt important because I was confident that God was using me to positively affect the lives of others.

Unfortunately, my life isn't a constant mission trip. I do not have the opportunity to so obviously see God working on a day-to-day basis, but that doesn't mean that He still isn't working through my everyday circumstances. Why is it that as Christians, we feel like we have to be doing something extravagant like a mission trip to experience God or be to used by Him? I refuse to believe the lie that Satan tells us that we can't be used by God in our everyday lives, that we can't affect the lives of those around us unless we are doing something for Christ in an exaggerated way, that He can't work through the small, unnoticed gestures. We get to thinking why would He be interested in a full-time desk job worker like me? Or a stay-at-home mom? Or a someone who is retired? Or a student just trying to graduate? Because He isn't looking for people who are equipped or qualified. He is looking for people who are willing and available. God will provide the knowledge and ability, if we will just provide ourselves.

You don't have to be doing a ministry-oriented activity to see God and to be used by Him. Your life (every aspect of it) is a ministry in itself and a way for God to work through you and touch the lives of others. God will open up doors and create opportunities where there seem to be none. He has the power to turn your ordinary day-to-day circumstances into something extraordinary. It may not look like a foreign mission trip or a pastor preaching from the pulpit, but that doesn't mean He can't transform the routine into something amazing for His glory. God has the power to work beyond our circumstances. So yes, I do feel like my life is a little mundane sometimes, but I have to keep reminding myself that God is still at work in my life. He will always use me as long as I am willing to be used in any (unconventional) way, shape, or form.

Trust & Obey

If you have been in church for any length of time, you are probably familiar with the hymn "Trust and Obey". It's a very straightforward but honest song. The chorus declares "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." Sounds simple enough, right? When you are younger, it's easy to sing these words believing that it will always be an easy choice to trust and obey God. But the older you get and the more challenges you face, it becomes a little more difficult to just "trust and obey" with no questions asked. It's easy to withhold our trust and start to convince ourselves that our situation is the exception to rule of obedience. We know God is telling us to do something, but we deceive ourselves into thinking that He couldn't possibly still have the same expectations of us with our current circumstances. It's tempting to believe that the hard times are an exception for being obedient to God, but in fact, that's exactly when obedience and trust are key.

I have recently struggled to be obedient to God in a few areas that I never have before. I have always been quick to give, of my time and money. It's never been difficult for me and most of the time I do not hesitant to give to those around me and to my church. Giving has always brought me great joy and fulfilled me in a way like no other. I never thought twice about it before, always being generous despite the cost. Recently, my money and time have become tighter. There hasn't been as much of it to spare. God is truly challenging me to trust Him and continue obeying Him during a time when it isn't so simple. Obeying Him right now might mean sacrificing nicer things and rest for my mind and body. That song "Trust & Obey" has been replaying in my mind for a few months and I can't say I haven't looked up at God a few times and questioned how He expected me to continue on doing what He had called me to do when my resources were quite limited. How can He expect me to make these sacrifices when I'm already working so hard already and I'm exhausted trying to keep it all together? It's easy to make excuses and convince myself that I need those things more than others do. It's easy to sleep instead of serve and it's easy to use my hard earned money for myself instead of living modestly and giving it away to those in need. Obedience is not the easy choice after all.

But, I will press on. For God is calling me to trust Him in order to fulfill not only His glory, but my good. Trusting God when it is difficult allows you to see His goodness, as well as, the goodness in others. God has continued to provide for us, so that we are able to give. He has made a way when it didn't seem like there was one. He has given me the energy to continue serving and opened up the time in my schedule to be present. God has drawn me closer to Him and given me the courage to say, "I trust You. I trust Your timing. What I have: my time, my money, my life...it's Yours. No excuses." He continues to give me that joy, so that I can give that joy to others. The hymn does say,

"But we never can prove
the delights of His love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor He shows,
for the joy He bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey."

I challenge you to trust and obey Him today. Take a leap of faith when you can't see where the path leads, for I promise you that the benefit far outweighs the cost.

Pruning

There has been a lot going on in our world lately. Needless to say, between seminary, church activities, youth group activities, Land Rover, and finding somewhere to live...our lives have been somewhat hectic! I find myself in a constant state of stress and anxiety from the whirlwind of chaos. There are many emotions felt in a single day and I can hardly keep track of what exactly is going on because it all changes at such a rapid rate. The funny thing is, no matter how much I've freaked out about all the uncertainties, God has been faithful.

Recently in my Sunday School class, we were discussing the idea of God "pruning" us. Pruning is defined as cutting, clearing, ridding, trimming, or removing any needless or undesired twigs, branches, or roots. We talked about how God prunes us each day by putting us through uncomfortable situations that we would prefer to avoid to refine us and develop qualities within us that would never be established without those hardships. There are so many strengths that are developed within us during the struggles that wouldn't be there otherwise. When metal is put under fire, all of the impurities rise up and are released from that metal. Only after being put through the fire is the metal considered refined and purified. Without the seasons of pruning, those undesirable and unwanted qualities would remain within us.

The seasons of pruning can be difficult ones, but they can also be fruitful. I can say that during this stressful season of my life when God is doing things that I do not always understand, I am developing important qualities and I am learning important lessons. I am slowly learning to let go of the reins and to not only trust God wholeheartedly, but also trust the people around me. I am learning to put more faith in others instead of taking control of everything myself. I am also being put to the test as far as unwavering trust and faith goes. I sing songs every day that proclaim my trust that God is in control. I delcare that He holds all things together and that if He will provide for the birds, then surely He will provide for me. But do my actions always demonstrate these words as loudly as my voice does? I'm working on that. I am being given wisdom during these trials, wisdom of how to take care of my family and wisdom of when to let go and let God. God is developing an inner strength within me, the type of strength that doesn't depend on human abilities but depends on and hopes in Him. God is encouraging me to be courageous, to fearlessly stand out when I know that's the right thing to do. He is teaching me to be selfless and to work hard for what I want. He is showing me that there are nice people in this world who will help you out whether they know you personally or not. He is revealing to me that my marriage doesn't have to weaken because of trials, but in fact it can be strengthened. He is developing my prayer life and allowing me to put all of my feelings into words spoken to Him. He is drawing me close to Him and allowing me to feel what it's like to experience intimacy with the Father. He is continually proving to me, "Brittany, I've got this."

God is pruning me, and it's a wonderful, beautiful thing.