Expectant

Each year my Aunt asks me, "So what's your WORD this year?" She chooses a word each year that God lays on her heart and that word is her theme and focus for that year. She started doing this years ago and each year urges me to choose a word and participate alongside her. Each year I try to pick out a good word that I believe will be fitting for that year or something I know I need to work on, but honestly no word from the past really sticks out as much as the word I've chosen for 2016. In January, I chose the word "Expectant" for this year. At that time, I knew 2016 would hold many changes for my family, but I wanted to go into this year full of expectation of what God was going to do instead of being fearful or anxious about the chaos that was soon to come. I really looked at 2016 as a "Here God, You can have it" type of year knowing that it would hold more than I could handle on my own. Between expecting our second child and moving to a new city for my husband's job, 2016 was going to be a big year for the Gale family. But this word has come to mean so much more as this year has unfolded.

 

Within a few weeks of deciding to be expectant and hopeful of what God would do this year, I had to go to the ER twice for a hemorrhage and was told I had a "threatened miscarriage". Already, 2016 wasn't going nearly as I expected and we were only a month in. The medical bills rolled in (and kept rolling in) and we were left helplessly fighting for our baby's life in a high-risk pregnancy, knowing prayer was the only thing we could really do to be active about the situation. In some ways, it felt like we were drowning. Asking God....why? I had expectations for this year, but this wasn't it. Despite this scary situation, God has remained strong and faithful to us. I never wanted to go through something like this, but in some weird ways, I can say I'm thankful for it. God has shown Himself as everything His Word claims He is to me during this time. He's worked things out in amazing ways. God has blown my expectations out of the water! He has shown up in huge ways and that is exactly what I had hoped for 2016. While it may not look how I would have wanted it to, choosing to expect big things from God this year was right on point.

The next month, Josh stood before 3 boards hoping to pass and become a provisional Ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church. Josh has been working towards this for years and it's been quite the process. He went through 3 years of seminary, wrote what seemed like a million pages worth of paperwork, papers, and Bible studies, sat through many meetings, and spent hours upon hours preparing for this moment. Thankfully, he passed!! While this was so exciting for our family, it also confirmed that we would definitely be moving to a new church in a new town in June. We are nervous, but trusting. Trying our very best to believe God will bring us to where we need to be. A month after he passed the boards, we found out that we would be moving to Lizella, GA and that Josh would be the head Pastor at Lizella UMC!

We are so excited for our new adventure, but also quite nervous to move to a brand new place. Or maybe I should say that I am! This is my first big move and if you haven't noticed over the few years I've been writing this blog, I'm not a fan of change. We are leaving behind family, a church family that we adore, friends, our first home, and the entire life we've build as a married couple. I'm moving to a place where I don't know a soul (thankfully we will have family somewhat close by) and everything about our life is going to change. While this is scary, it is also quite exciting and another chance for me to cling to the hope of being expectant for God to move in awesome ways during this next chapter. God has already allowed us to be placed at a wonderful appointment with a new, loving church family. We get to live in a parsonage that the church has so kindly been working hard to make perfect for our arrival. Josh and I are also getting to live out our dreams by taking this leap of faith and having high expectations of what God is going to do despite the unknown -- he will be the Pastor is his "own" church, continuing the process of becoming a fully Ordained Elder in the UMC and I will officially be a stay-at-home mom! We have both been dreaming of the day we would get to do these things for a very long time and are so excited the opportunity is finally here. God has truly taken care of us and provided above and beyond.

We are going into the month of May and I feel like my head is spinning. We have so much going on over the next 6 weeks. I always feel like we are busy and like our life is chaotic and I think surely one day it will slow down....but it only amps up! Each year life gets crazier, but despite the (extra long) laundry list of things going on in the next few months, I'm in a good place. Josh was preaching about God's timing last Sunday and saying that this concept has been quite prevalent in our lives over the past few months. He couldn't be more right. We have been so dependent on God and so trusting that God's timing and His plans will lead us to the right place. Josh and I have really been leaning on God more than ever to guide us and while there have been many ups and downs; there is something so peace-giving about trusting God and allowing Him to work in us. What an awesome thing to be able to say that God is changing the world and we get to be a small part of it, by allowing Him to work in us. Starting off the year choosing to be expectant and hopeful of what God would do this year was bold for me (normally I would be having a panic attack in the corner thinking of all the stresses to come), but letting go and allowing God to work in our lives has been such an amazing experience. God is working around us, working in us, and moving mountains for us and this world -- I had every right to be expectant of all the big things that God would do this year because He's doing them! God is moving in His way and His timing and I'm so thankful to be a part of it. While I have no idea what the future holds (more than ever), I'm going into this new chapter excited and expectant. It's such an encouraging and peace-giving place to be -- where God is.

 

How Do I Deal With Stress?

Happy Monday, everyone! Is today the epitome of a Monday morning or what?! If you are in the Atlanta area, then you know the monsoon-like weather, crazy traffic jams, and time change adjustment that I am speaking of. Not exactly the most relaxing start to the week! If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, on edge, or just straight up tired this Monday morning, then this post is especially for you! We all have stress in our lives, whether that be Monday morning on a busy week type stress or just everyday life stress. We may think that stress limits itself to those who have a mortgage to pay or food to put on the table or 5 little kids running around, but in fact, stress encompasses all ages. Even our youth are experiencing more stress than we probably did at their age. I found that out last week as I was preparing the lesson for our youth girl's Bible study. I've been part of this particular girl's middle and high school Bible study at our church for almost 2.5 years now. I love investing in young girl's lives especially at this fragile age of peer pressure, awkward middle school years (wasn't it for everyone?!) and coming into your own. I wish I had someone who would have been able to pour spiritual truth and guidance into my life at this age, so I get pretty excited do be able to do that for someone else.

Once in a while, I teach the lesson for the week and this time around, I asked the girls what they wanted me to talk about and what would help them the most. Each week, these girls come to our Bible study with burdens, stresses, and anxiety. They have so much going on in their lives at such a young age and each week they are overwhelmed and just worn out. So to no surprise, they asked me to talk about managing stress and negativity! I thought this was pretty ironic because anyone who knows me knows that I am a very easily stressed individual. I deal with anxiety regularly and usually seem like a little bit of a crazy person compared to my cool-as-a-cucumber, thrives on procrastination, "everything will work out, just relax", scatterbrained but somehow always pulls it off last minute husband. He thrives on the unplanned, spontaneous, and natural eb and flow of life while I retreat to a corner and get out my paper bag to calm my breathing during the potential panic attack that most likely is arising in me during the chaos and confusion of life. Type A personalities unite! God has been teaching me for years about managing stress in my life and it's a constant work in progress for me because I am a natural worrier. Isn't that always how it works though? God uses our weaknesses and stories of restoration to help others by showing them what He's taught us. He rescues us, so that we can then go and rescue others dealing with similar issues. So after some thinking about past experiences and rereading a few posts I've written in this space from the past, I came up with a short list of ways to help deal with stress. This list doesn't just apply to middle and high school girls, but to anyone when they are feeling overwhelmed. I hope these tips bring you some peace and calm next time life gets you down. 

1. Perspective -- the phrase "first-world problems" may be trite, but it has become popular for a reason. During times of major stress in my life, I try to step make and put everything in perspective. It's really easy to get caught up in your particular problem and think the world is coming to an end. Am I the only one who can be a tad on the dramatic side? It's so important to remember to keep perspective. Whatever is causing your anxiety, probably isn't that bad even though in the moment it may seem like it. Sometimes our problems just seem straight up silly and almost laughable when we put them in perspective. I tend to get so sucked into my problems that I forget to take a step back and breathe. When I do, I usually remember how blessed I really am and how a lot of these stresses usually come out of things that are actually blessings in my life. My house is messy? That means I have a roof over my head. I'm not happy about my new responsibilities at work? That means I have a job. My baby is teething and keeping me up all night? That means I'm lucky enough to have a healthy child. My husband left his stuff all over the house again? That means I have someone to share my life with...the good, the bad and the annoying. This method might seem a little corny, but I find that gaining perspective during a difficult time really helps our thankful spirit come out instead of focusing on the negativity. Which brings me to my next point...

2. Positive attitude -- Having a positive attitude is so important these days. I mean have you watched the news recently? It is filled with bad things that are meant to bring us down. It's so easy to be negative in our world today, but a negative attitude is detrimental, especially during stressful seasons of life. I am the first to admit that I sometimes struggle with having a positive attitude and seem to focus on what's going wrong so much more quickly than on what's going right. All this does is accentuate the bad and belittle the good. We define the good and bad in our lives. We have more control over the outlook of our day than we give ourselves credit for. There's always good to outweigh the bad, but we have to evoke the right attitude in order to see that. Plus, who wants to be around someone who is negative and always complaining?! I sure don't. A positive attitude goes a long way in uplifting ourselves on a bad day.

3. Praying -- Are you familiar with the phase, "Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?". I can fall into this trap so easily. It's so effortless to tell people all about your problems, but never bring them to God. I have even been guilty of asking people to pray for me about certain stresses in my life without even praying about them myself. There's a therapeutic aspect to venting to a friend, but I think we often forget about how restorative a conversation with God can be. I find that when I complain to a friend, I might come away feeling better for a little while, but those same problems seem to creep back up. When I bring my struggles to God, He gives me a peace beyond understand and a healing in return. He lifts my burdens off my back and carries them on His own, leaving me feeling weightless and free. Praying takes more discipline than just complaining to a friend or even posting about it on Facebook (yep, we've all done it), but it's a much more beneficial step for us in the end.

4. Past answered prayers -- One of the most powerful ways I deal with stress is thinking about what God has done for me in the past. There are times when I think there's no way a situation is going to work out or a solution to a major problem is ever going to come, but then I stop and think, "Has God ever failed me?". Well....no. I think about the fact that a year ago I had a whole other plethora of problems in my life that have since been resolved. I think about all the prayers I've prayed that have been answered and how God has always given me a solution whether that be something tangible or just letting me know that He is the solution. He's never left me hanging, so why am I thinking He will this time? A calm comes over me when I remember the faithfulness of God in my life knowing that God will continue being reliable and consistent for me.

My Stewardship Journey

Every year my church has a month dedicated to talking about Stewardship. Stewardship is (by definition) an ethic that embodies the responsible planning and management of resources. In short, how have you chosen to manage what God has given you? Each Sunday, a family shares their Stewardship Journey, and at the end of the month, we have a time where we pledge what we will give to the church the upcoming year. Each year as different people share their testimony of giving, I always think of how I also have a story. I'm not one who loves to publicly speak (I save that for my husband who is a preacher) and I certainly am not one who wants to discuss the controversial and even awkward topic of money, but each year I feel God tugging at my heartstrings during this Stewardship month. I couldn't help but feel the urge to share my story of giving, not to draw any attention to myself, but to share of God's constant faithfulness in my life. When I think of this particular topic, I just can't stay silent or deny God's hand print stamped all along this road I've traveled. God has weaved together such a beautiful story of giving, providing, faith and trust in my life that I felt compelled to share my Stewardship Journey.

In high school and college, I would see the offering plates pass during the church service and automatically count myself out. I thought I was somehow exempt from giving to the church. The passages in the Bible about giving weren't directed towards me, but "future me" who had it all together and was living a "comfortable" life. How could God expect anything out of a poor high school or college student? When I graduated college and got a full-time job, I began to feel like my excuses were running out. I started tithing each month and I truly was happy I was finally able to give back to the church that had so heavily poured into me and invested in my life. But in all honesty, it wasn't the biggest sacrifice to give at that point. I was living at home with my mom and had very few bills. But, at least it was a start!

Around that time, Josh and I became engaged. We had many discussions about giving to the church once we were married and we both knew that if we didn't implement this discipline from the start, we may never. There would always be something to stand in our way if we let it. So once we got married, we tithed each month. Some months were harder than others, but we always gave something. And God always provided. At that point, we were newlyweds living in a basement apartment in Atlanta and we weren't making much money. We didn't have much, but we always had exactly what we needed. In December of 2013, we bought our first home. It was a dream that I didn't even think would be possible for years to come, but we managed to make it happen and were thrilled about this huge step in our lives. But as everyone knows, "with great power comes great responsibility". We had more, but we also had more to pay for, take care of and manage.

At this point, Josh was still in seminary full-time and working at the church part-time and I was working full-time in Atlanta. While we were working extremely hard, we were struggling to make ends meet. We were staying afloat, but barely. There were many months that we seriously debated not tithing. We could have easily justified it, especially when we added up how much we were tithing each year. It was hard to see those numbers and know what a helpful impact that would have made in other areas of our life. It felt like such a sacrifice and one that I was struggling to make. We were a very young couple who had very little and it would have been easy to tell ourselves that it was okay not to give and somehow talk ourselves out of it. But despite all of the opposition we felt, we continued to give. But I'll be honest; it was a little begrudgingly on my part.

Around this time, I felt like God really moved in my life in the area of stewardship. Being a good steward is effectively managing what God has given you, but that's what I was struggling to see. In my mind, my money, my things, my house, my work ethic, the things I had worked so hard for....they were just that, mine. I finally had the revelation that I was holding on so tightly to things that actually weren't mine, they were God's. I was the first to say how much God had blessed me, but I wasn't willing to admit that everything I had was because of Him. Everything I had was His. It was really easy to look at the things I had and think, "I worked hard for those things. I earned those things on my own." But in actuality, God had given me a job. He had blessed me with parents who taught me how to work hard and how to manage my money well. God had given me the motivation, dedication, and passions that I had. When I finally accepted that everything I had wasn't even mine to begin with, giving became a whole lot easier. I began to understand the true concept of stewardship which is managing what God has given me not hoarding and keeping from God what was His to begin with. I also started to understand the concept that giving didn't mean just giving my money. Giving meant sharing my time, talents, abilities, and spiritual gifts with the church, the church body, and my community. God gave me those gifts to share with others, not keep to myself.

While this concept might seem constraining or even imprisoning to some, it has been the most freeing experience for me. If anything, it has opened my eyes up to all that God has given me. And wow, I am one blessed woman! Instead of feeling like nothing is mine, I am filled with peace knowing these things are God's, I am God's and God takes care of His sheep. This is where my story gets emotional for me and if you have made it this far in reading this, I promise this is where I was going all along. God has provided for me and my family in phenomenal ways. I am a worrier by nature and I cannot tell you how many times I was convinced that we weren't going to make it, but we have never, ever gone without. God has given my family exactly what we need right when we need it and not a second sooner. This journey has pushed my faith and trust in Christ in ways I had never experienced. I have been forced to rely on Him to come through for me and He always does. We have received everything from used furniture, diapers for my son, used toys & clothes, money for a suit for my husband to preach in, random bonuses at work, extra scholarship money that came from out of nowhere, jobs openings that came right in time, discounts on services because my husband is a clergy member, meals and extra food galore, free babysitting...I could seriously go on and on and on. We have been blessed with the most amazing church family who have literally been the hands and feet of Jesus to my family and who God has used to bless our family more than they will ever know. Not only has God provided for us with monetary things, but He has also blessed us with amazing relationships with people that we would have never had the pleasure of knowing had we not relied on Him for all we have.

While this journey has been a difficult one for me, I can say it has allowed me to testify of the goodness of God in my life. What I love about a testimony is that it's your story and no one, no matter who they are and what they believe, can argue or mess with your experience. It belongs to you and it is precious and deserves to be treasured. God has always provided for me. He has never fallen short and He has never failed me. God has never abandoned me. I am continuing to learn to trust Him with all that I have and all that I am. It isn't always easy, but I can assure you that if you give yourself to God and trust Him with all that you have, God will enrich and bless your life in immeasurable and unexplainable ways. It is now my joy and honor to give because God gave and continues to give to me. 

"Bloom Where You Are Planted"

This week has been tough for me. There are a lot of changes coming my way and I haven't been the most accepting of deviating from my comfortable and familiar path. In fact, I feel like I've resisted change to the best of my ability. While some people might be excited by fresh starts and new chapters, I am petrified. I like routine and familiarity. I like knowing what to expect and how it's all going to unfold. This probably roots back to my need to be in control and to have the ability to define and select the environment in which I feel like I will do well. I've convinced myself that I need certain conditions to not only survive, but to succeed.

I saw this quote this week and it really struck me. "Bloom Where You Are Planted". Wow, how powerful. Here I am thinking that I can only "bloom" under my chosen circumstances, my wants, and my preferences. I am holding on to the reins so tightly that I am probably close to losing circulation. Since when did I become so close-minded that I don't trust God to direct where I am "planted" and then help me prosper there? I saw this quote and immediately thought that this needs to be my new motto. I can't rely on comfort and fear of change to be my foundation and stipulations for growth in my life. I can't put limitations on how God is going to work. I want to be the type of person and the type of Christian who can blossom anywhere because I have God on my side. And because I have God directing my life. I want to be able to jump knowing that wherever He is taking me, I can trust Him. I want to be someone who finds the positive wherever I go and survives and flourishes wherever God sees fit to put me. Who am I to put restrictions on what God can do?

Slowly, I am opening the door to change and trying to shove fear and doubt out of my mind. This motto is my prayer, for myself and for my family. May we be people who bloom, flourish, and succeed anywhere God takes us. No restrictions, no limits, and no holding back. I owe it to everyone, including myself, to open up my mind to the idea that if God is truly directing my steps, then the only reason I won't thrive will be because of myself. He won't call me and then leave me hanging. He will finish out His work in me wherever I am called. God will ensure I "bloom", if I only let Him "plant" me. Ready or not, I'm jumping!

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." -Philippians 1:6

Perspective: It's a Beautiful Thing

Recently, my life has been a roller coaster. Each day there is some new issue or change, completely lacking consistency. I go through about 20 emotions in a day and find myself on different highs and lows throughout the same day. While this could definitely be contributed to pregnancy (third trimester, at that), I've always been one to give in to emotions and let them control me. I get sucked in to how I feel in the moment and forget to hold tight to reality. The older I get, the more I am realizing that life (a joyful one) is all about perspective. Lately, my life has been hectic, but I've also been so very blessed. I've had a few stressful situations arise, but I've also seen God directly answer my prayers. There have been things that haven't gone my way, but my friends and family have stepped up and shown so much love and support. Money has been tight, but God has provided in incredible ways. There has been so much good that it's hard to even acknowledge the bad: that's perspective and it's a beautiful thing.

The Bible says to, "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." In the world we live in today, that's not always the easiest task. In the past month alone, the news has been filled with cases of Ebola spreading in the U.S. and the latest ISIS attack and capture. It's a scary and not always so pretty world that we live in. Despite the negative images and conversation that surround us each day and can so easily entangle us, I still think there is so much good left in the world. If you take the time to look for it and meditate on it, you will find it. You will see it in the young cashier helping the sweet older man carry his groceries, in the mother kissing her children as she sends them off to school, and in someone taking the time to bake you some cookies to show their appreciation for all your hard work. You will see it when you remember how quickly life passes and how you are one of the lucky ones that is still alive and given the opportunity to make a difference today. I have been reminded so many times recently that no matter how bad our situation is, someone else always has it worse. So yes, those are simple examples, but hey, some people don't even have that to pull from. For me, each time I feel my baby kick, I am reminded of how good life is and how blessed I am. Having a little miracle growing inside of you quickly puts your life into perspective. The problems seem so insignificant compared to the simple joys we have been given. These are the things are need to remember when life gets tough. We are the lucky ones. Again, perspective.

Some days it's so difficult to find the good. We stress and get so flustered about a particular problem and once that issue is solved, we move right on to the next crisis. We forget to give thanks for the answer to our previous problem and the things that are going right in our lives. For me, it's been medical bills, work, baby preparation, and so many other things that consume my life and sometimes derail me from an attitude of praise. Despite anything difficult I've experienced recently, when I step back and put my life into perspective I can honestly say that I've never been more blessed. Josh and I have had so many people help us in more ways than I can even count. Our family, friends, church members, and co-workers have given their time and energy to us to make us feel so loved and appreciated. They have saved us and supported us when we had so much to get done that we couldn't even see straight. We have felt encouragement from all sides. Our baby hasn't even arrived yet and is already so loved and prayed for. I am lucky enough to carry my baby, have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby which is more than many can say. People have been so incredibly giving and generous to our family that it blows my mind. God has made a way for us when there didn't seem to be one. All that to say, God has been so, so good to us. And we can't forget that when the first hardship hits. We must cling tightly to perspective and an attitude of gratitude.  

Yes, it's easy to get caught up in all the things in life that aren't true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. But putting your life in perspective is one of the best things you could ever do for yourself and your family. That's what I've been learning lately. I'm alive and healthy. I'm loved and cared for. This is all I need. Everything else is just icing on the cake and when I put my life in perspective, I have a lot of icing! :)

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

We all dread it, maybe some more than others, but know it's a necessary part of life: the nerve-racking experience of getting out of your comfort zone that is! If you are like me, it's usually awkward and filled with nervous moments. There's that little bit of fear in the pit of your stomach knowing that you aren't quite sure what's coming next, but you really wish you had a clue. As my 26th birthday rapidly approaches (less than 2 days!), I can say that getting out of your comfort zone is such an important part of life and allows us to be challenged. It's really one of the only ways we can experience growth. I have always been very hesitant at trying new things, afraid of what could possibly happen. I think about being judged, failing, what others will think, and how I won't know exactly what to do as I embark on the unknown path. These things usually hold me back from experiencing more. As I close out this year of my life and begin a new one, getting out of my comfort zone is at the top of my list for my 26th year on this earth. Since this year will also include having a baby, I'm sure this will be an easy goal to accomplish ;) I want to not be afraid to try everything and anything. Life is so short, ya'll. Like ridiculously short. It's already flying by for me. I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize I was too fearful of getting out of my comfort zone that I missed out on the most exciting things in life, which usually start out by taking a shaky step into the unknown.

Recently, my Sunday school class started a study on prayer. You might be wondering how this all ties in? Well, I have always been a little fearful of prayer. Prayer requires intimacy with God. It requires discipline. Prayer requires getting out of your comfort zone. I've never been the best with prayer. I've always wanted to be better, but then other things catch my attention and I soon forgot my goal. I can't sit still long enough to focus on God and always feel a little awkward when I do. I thought, there's no way I could ever develop a prayer life like these other awesome Christians that I know. They pray for hours on end, I couldn't possibly do that! I was intimidated and almost too afraid to even try.

All these doubts filled my head: What would I talk about for that long? I'll probably sound awkward. My prayers won't sound eloquent enough. I won't sound smart enough or "Christian" enough. What if I don't feel how I'm supposed to feel while being in God's presence? What if I just sound selfish? God doesn't care about my petty problems. I'll feel guilty for not coming to Him enough. Wow, I'm a horrible person for not praying more especially because there are so many people in my life that need prayer.

Needless to say, I knew when we started this book on prayer that I would be pushed out of my comfort zone. I knew I would need to practice praying more and knew it was something I seriously slacked on. I usually avoided it because I didn't want to deal with the unknown. We are a few weeks into the study and I am slowly breaking down these prayer barriers I have built. I've been trying to push myself during those moments I know God is calling me to pray. I've been carving out time to be with Him. I've been making lists of people in my life who need prayer and been actively trying to pray for them. I've even sat in silence and prayed. And you know what? It wasn't that bad, in fact, it's been really great! Yeah, it usually starts off a little rocky, but by the end I'm more comfortable than ever.

Today, I went on a walk during my lunch break. I've been trying to get out and go walking more lately while the weather is so beautiful. I typically listen to worship music on my walks and find myself spending time with God in that way. While that is great, I could feel God tugging at my heart to turn off the music and just talk to Him. I usually don't listen to that tugging and continue on with my music, convincing myself that worship music is plenty pleasing to God. While it definitely is, I know God wanted more from me and He also wanted me to experience more. So today, I decided to turn off my music and step outside of my comfort zone which included walking in silence while praying to God. Yes, I've done this before, but I wanted to really push myself and make it more than just a few minutes of prayer. I started praying and soon couldn't stop. When I finished my walk, I realized I had prayed without ceasing for a whole 20 minutes...quite an accomplishment for me. :)

Getting out of my comfort zone paid off today because I got to experience a special time with God that I wouldn't have if I had just stuck with what was easy and known to me. This is one specific example in my life, but trust me, there are so many more areas where I need to step out of my comfort zone. It's scary, yet so rewarding. Life is short and fleeting, so why not take risks and push ourselves even when it's uncomfortable? What do we have to lose? There are so many times playing it safe is the best option, but not always. The older I get I realize that the best things in life usually start off a little scary and take risk. You may feel silly or awkward giving them a try. You may have no idea what people will think or what will come out of taking that chance. But the experience that comes with trying and succeeding at something new because you found the courage to get out of your comfort zone is so much sweeter than playing it safe ever could be.

Being Still Before God: A Look Behind My Chaotic Life

We all have mess. We all have issues. We all have lots of stuff going on. Everyone has things in their lives that don't quite look like they had planned. Some days it seems like everything is under control despite the laundry list of tasks to get accomplished we all have in the back of our minds. Other days, the chaos of life takes control and it all becomes a little too overwhelming. That is how last week went for me.

Right now, I have a lot going on. I work 40 plus hours a week, commute, clean, cook, and keep our household organized. I am active in my church and with our youth group. I spend time with friends and family. I pay bills, budget our limited income and resources, grocery shop, take care of our dog and meal plan. I'm expecting, a new mom-to-be, and trying to have a healthy pregnancy. I'm planning for the next 5 months before the baby arrives and the 5 months after the baby is here. I'm preparing for motherhood and still working on being a better spouse to my husband. Like I said, I have a lot going on. My mind is always busy thinking about what I need to get done and scheming about how to best accomplish it all. The problem is that I'm a multi-tasker, a controller, a fixer, and a perfectionist. I'm also hormonal! These qualities put together can be a toss-up of the key to my success or my ultimate downfall.

I started off last week with a lot on my plate which is pretty typical, but each day the weight on my shoulders just got heavier. There were a lot of unexpected expenses that came up and my to-do list wasn't getting checked off quick enough before another set of tasks were piled on. I was extremely stressed and had way too much going on. My mind was racing trying to figure out exactly how I was going to get it all accomplished and I soon became irritable, tense, and on the verge of a breakdown. I took all of these burdens on as my own and felt like I needed to be the one to fix all of them. Instead of relying on God, I let my circumstances and emotions get the best of me. Finally, something small happened and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. The flood gates opened and I was an emotional wreck. This buildup I had been experiencing and holding in all week finally came out. I felt defeated and scared. I was overwhelmed and there was no quick fix solution to make it all go away. The stress I had put on myself was creating stress and tension in other relationships in my life and I'm sure most people were steering clear of me by the end of the week because I was just a wreck and not very fun to be around. Life had beaten me down and I couldn't quite figure out how to get back up.

This week, I'm putting last week behind me and starting fresh. After I finally broke down, I realized how much of this I had been holding on to and holding inside. I was holding on for dear life unwilling to relinquish control. I hadn't been praying about it and I hadn't even tried to give my burdens to God. I was trying to do it all myself and let's face it, it wasn't working out so well. God spoke to me a lot this weekend and reminded me that each day presents challenges of its own. I need to come to Him every day and lay my burdens at His feet. It isn't a one-time thing, but a continual process. If I don't do this daily, I am missing out on the full and abundant life that God intends for me. I hadn't been resting in Him and I could tell because I felt emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. The constant battle I was fighting had taken all the energy I had. I hadn't been still before God, in fact I hadn't sat still all week. I was too busy running around like a crazy lady checking off a to-do list and worrying about problems that can't be resolved in one day. This week, I'm practicing giving up all my troubles to God and allowing Him to fill me with peace, knowing He has it under control. I am going to wipe my hands clean of the things I can't control or fix and accept that I can only do so much with the things I do have the ability to control. The Lord will fight for me; all I have to do is be still.

God can make something beautiful out of a mess. He can restore hurting relationships and rejuvenate our tired souls. He can accomplish things beyond our wildest dreams. God offers us rest, hope, peace and restoration. He will fill us up and allow us to keep going when we feel like we don't have the strength to go on...if we would only just let Him. If any of this resonates with you, I challenge you to lay all of your troubles at God's feet and just be still before Him. Relinquish that control.You might be amazed at what He can do once we finally let go. Like I said, we all have messes in our lives, but how we deal with it is really what defines us.

Trip to South Korea

Well, today is the day! We leave for Costa Rica tonight and I couldn't be more excited. As I prepare to leave for my second international mission trip, it brings back so many memories of my first. I remember the call to go to South Korea and the peace I felt while I was there. It was a once in a lifetime trip and I have so many wonderful memories from my 2 week stay. We did so many things while we were there and also met so many amazing people. It would be hard for me to recap the entire trip and put an experience that was almost indescribable into words. 

 

For my last "missions" blog post I'll be leaving you with pictures, which speak volumes over words. I will say that this trip shed so much light for me and gave me so much perspective. I never understood how difficult Christians across the world have it and how lucky I am to live in a country with freedom of religion and acceptance of the Christian faith. I have never appreciated the worldwide Christian community more and realized how much we all need each other. Every single person I encountered in South Korea was beyond sweet and caring. They all took such great care of us and treated us with great respect. The Korean culture is full of humility and service to others, something I believe the U.S. could learn from. It was hard for me to leave Busan because of the connection I made to the city along with the connections I made to the people I met. I never knew I could meet girls my age from the other side of the world and that we would have so much in common, that in 2 weeks time we would become lifelong friends. So please enjoy my pictures from Busan, South Korea, a place and people that will always hold such a special place in my heart.

 

 

 

My awesome team!

 

Busan is a seaside town and that means lots of beautiful ocean views!



We hosted a campus ministry party!

 

 

My favorite Korean food - Kimpop!

Our hosts - love these girls!

 

 

Sharing our testimonies and singing worship music for a Korean high school.

 

Helping campers learn to bake a cake!

Korean Karaoke

 

 

 

Karate Lessons

 

 

Teaching English at a Korean college

 

Busan has such breathtaking views!

 

Korean soda

South Korea -- always in my heart <3 p="">

Mission Trips Part 5 -- Dallas, TX

Thank God it's Friday! This week has actually gone by pretty quickly for me, but nonetheless, I am still very happy that it's Friday. This time around I am writing about my fourth and second to last mission trip experience. If you are getting a bit bored with this little segment then just hang in there because I only have one "mission trip post" left (besides the one I will write about Costa Rica). Speaking of, 1 week from today Josh and I will be on a plane to Central America! :)

 

One of the last things I did before graduating college was go on a mission trip to Dallas, Texas during Spring Break 2011. This trip was definitely different for me because it was the first mission trip I had been on that I wasn't fully excited about. I was going through a rough time in my personal life and had signed up for this trip prior to knowing I may not be in the best mindset for missions. I was hesitant, but I trusted Dallas was where I was meant to be. Going to Texas ended up being really good for me and God truly met me where I was at during that week. He allowed me to reach out to others who were struggling while I was feeling broken myself. He gave me the peace, patience, and strength to joyfully serve on that trip while I was going through a hard time. As much as I was there to help others, God also used the trip to heal me and work in my life. Pretty awesome how He can do both at once.

 

 

Like any other mission trip, there was a lot on the agenda for our week in Dallas. One of my favorite daily activities we did was help out at a day camp for some of the local kids. These kids came from lower income families and knew very little about God. That's where we came in! We had so much fun with those kids and in only a week, I became very attached to my little group. We played games, did crafts, ate snack, danced, sang, and most importantly had Bible story time. I had an awesome group who really wanted to learn more about the Bible, which is always encouraging. I loved spending time with those precious little people and man, did they fill my heart with happiness!

 

 

 

I went with a fun group and we really enjoyed our time in Dallas. We stayed in a little apartment and slept on the floor. It wasn't glamorous, but it made for the perfect home during our stay. Our group cooked together, ate together, had daily devotionals together and we even got to go to a professional basketball game together!

 

 

I experienced one of my least "glamorous" mission trip moments on this trip. A lot of people think mission trips are so clean cut and glossed over based on the pictures they see or what other people tell them upon returning. The reality is that mission trips can also be really dirty and downright nasty! Our group helped clean out some government housing that had been abandoned. These people knew they couldn't pay rent and instead of just moving out, they decided to trash the places first. Just imagine going crazy and destroying your whole house while throwing food, trash, and any other nasty substance you can think of everywhere. We put on our gloves and went to work. It was an experience, but one I am thankful for. Talk about the lesson of humility.

 

We did a few other random things while we were there including helping organize a massive closet. Well, there was more to it than that. Basically, there was an organization that had a lot of donated clothes and we organized them into different sections, so that local people could come in and find what they needed. The clothes were free to the public and it was a really cool ministry. We also helped serve food to high school students and joined a local church that Sunday to aid with their Sunday School classes. It was pretty cool because their children's Sunday School classes actually met at different kid's houses each week. That's what you do when you don't have a big fancy church building like we are used to. The week put a lot of things in perspective for me.

 

 

 

I think this trip taught me that God can always use you, no matter what shape you are in, as long as you are available. He can also heal you and work in your life through the most unexpected circumstances. God is pretty awesome like that! This trip taught me to push back my emotions, so that I could do what God was calling me to. How often do we let our feelings get the best of us and we give up on something we know we should be doing? This trip taught me that God is bigger than my emotions and feelings. He can give me joy through anything and that joy can be spread to others. Joy isn't based on our present circumstances. Joy is something that the Lord gives us that no one and nothing can take away. And that's a gift worth spreading.

 

Mission Trips Part 4 -- Brunswick for the Summer!

Happy Wednesday, everyone! With the countdown until our Costa Rica mission trip dwindling, I thought I would share another mission trip experience with you as the days until my departure for Alajuela draw near (16 days!!). My third mission trip was spent in Brunswick, GA during the summer of 2010. It was such a great experience for me and really helped shape my faith due to the amount of time I was there. Let me tell you about it :)

The summer after my junior year of college, I decided to participate in the summer missions program again like I had the previous summer when I went to Mississippi. NAMB (North American Mission Board) is the organization that helped sponsor my trip. This summer, I felt God calling me to something bigger and challenging me to go for it. I decided to sign up for a summer-long mission trip! I signed up for a few different places and Brunswick (which was my first choice) was the winner! I was so excited to spend my summer "at the beach" right next to St. Simons Island and Jekyll Island. The trip itself was more challenging than I ever expected, but it was also more amazing than I ever expected.

I moved down to the Golden Isles for the summer at the end of May. My mom and my brother accompanied me and that definitely eased my nerves. Although this trip was much different than my previous two, I really wasn't that nervous. I was so excited and ready for whatever the summer away from home brought. Of course I missed my family and friends, but Brunswick and my team soon became a comfort and a home for me.

Only half of the team was there for the first few weeks of training and we started off by going to missionary summer training in Toccoa Falls, GA. It was a long drive up to North Georgia (where I had just come from the week before), but we made it a fun drive filled with car games and good conversation. Our training went well and the time allowed us to get to know each other more as a team.

 

When we got back from the training, we visited Savannah for the day. I have always loved Savannah and really enjoyed getting to see the town. We needed to become more familiar with the city because we were going to be visiting it many times over the summer.

 

 

The rest of our team finally arrived (there were 6 of us in all) and it was time for the groups to start coming beginning in early June. Our purpose for this summer (I probably should have mentioned this earlier) was to have teams of churches come and visit each week and we would aid them in ministry. Each week over the summer, we would have new teams come in and we would each be assigned to a team. In the mornings, we would take our teams to different neighborhoods/apartment complexes around the community and host a VBS for the kids. We would break for lunch and resume ministry in the afternoon. During the afternoons, each team would do a different outreach activity around the area. One team would go to the nursing home and play bingo or sing for the elderly. One team would go to the St. Simons pier and make balloon animals, as well as, do face painting for the kids walking by. Another team would go and do beach ministry which included anything from playing beach games with the tourists to passing out water bottles to families on the beach. Each Sunday while our teams left for the week, we would go to local churches and share what our ministry was doing, as well as, introduce ourselves and our leader to the congregation.

 

 

 

Our job as the summer missionary helpers was to assist with anything and everything. We went everywhere with our team each week and really bonded with them. We helped and guided each activity and also participated in each ministry ourselves. We built great relationships with all the local kids we met during VBS each week. That was the benefit of us being there all summer; we were able to build long-lasting relationships. The schedule above is what a traditional week looked like for us, but there was so much more that happened "off-schedule".

 

 

We helped a local church who majorly lacked VBS volunteers one week and ended up helping run the VBS each night after a full day of ministry. Super tiring, but so fun! We hosted a summer revival for middle school and high school students where I got to share my testimony. I had never written my testimony before and this was the first time I had taken the time to capture my story on paper. I was beyond nervous, but so glad I had the opportunity to share my story with these young students. Our team helped out with World Changers, as well as, SuperWow on Jekyll Island. One week a church was short volunteers to take their youth group to Fuge camp, so myself and another team member spent the week with the youth group at camp which was awesome!

 

 

I had an amazing summer in Brunswick. I had a blast with my team and we became really close. It was hard to leave them when everything came to an end. We had so much fun together and I can say it was one of the most fun summers I've ever had. I am always the responsible one and the one who rarely lets loose, but that summer, I did! I was silly, goofy, and even loud and obnoxious. It was really good for me to let loose and have some fun for once while doing ministry, who knew?! I learned more than I could even write down from that summer and grew in my faith so much. I studied a lot of scripture and built friendships that I still have today. As I am writing this, my mind is filling up with so many memories from that summer. With every mission trip especially the long ones, there are always challenges and struggles, but they only made me stronger throughout the trip. (One of them being living in a house without air-conditioning during a scorching South Georgia summer...can you say melting?)  Before we left for the summer, we got to go on a weekend trip to Disney World and that was the icing on the cake for me! It was a blast and a perfect end to a summer where I let God have control...and He turned it into something wonderful.

 



Mission Trips Part 3 -- San Diego, CA

Good morning! I wanted to continue on my journey of sharing my mission trip experiences with you guys. The second mission trip I went on was to San Diego, CA and it was one of my favorites! This trip was over Spring Break of my junior year of college (Spring 2010). A group from my BCM campus ministry decided to do a Spring Break mission trip and I was excited to go with a group of people I was already familiar with. It was really cool to be doing something that would make a difference over my Spring Break instead of just taking a beach vacation. I had only been to California once when I was a baby because I have family that lives there, but I hadn't returned since. There was always something that allured me to California and made me want to visit again. I knew to expect beautiful weather and beaches, but soon enough I would get to know the beautiful people who resided there as well.

 

We got up really early and headed to the airport. The flight wasn't too bad and because of the 4 hour time difference we arrived at about the same time we had left Atlanta. We were excited to be there and to see what God had in store for our trip! (Side note: This was also the first mission trip I had ever raised money for and it was just amazing to see God work while I was trying to raise enough funds to make my trip possible. I'm sure you figured out by now that God did in fact provide for my trip and I actually ended up with more donations than I even needed!)

 

 

The first thing we did after getting settled was go out and do some team building activities. I was a little thrown off by this because I was expecting to go out and do ministry, but looking back it was a great decision. It allowed our group to bond right away and practice working together as a team which would be crucial over the next week. We also took some time to find a place of solitude and spend time alone with God before we starting ministering. I found this to be very helpful because it allowed me to focus and be reminded of what my purpose there really was. It was easy to get caught up in all that is California, but I was there for a specific reason: to share the Gospel.

 

 

We were able to stay at a Christian mission organization, but at the moment I cannot remember the name of it. They were an amazing group of people who had come together to minister to the people of San Diego and to show them an unforgettable type of love. See, California is very different than Georgia. California is much more liberal and much less like the padded "Bible Belt" our group was used to. There is not a church on every corner and not everyone had heard about Jesus since birth. This Christian organization was only one of a few in the area and they tried their best to make up for it. 

 

Because of how our trip fell, the next day ended up being our free day during the trip. We were excited to explore the city and see the different sites. We ended up at La Jolla beach and it was beautiful! I absolutely love the ocean, so in a sense this whole trip was like a dream because we were constantly surrounded by the breath-taking waters and gorgeous sunsets.

 

The next morning, we got to work! We were quickly informed upon our arrival that San Diego is home one of the biggest homeless populations in the world. Because of the warm weather, many homeless people can live in San Diego year round and remain safe from the freezing or boiling temps. There were many different organizations that worked with the homeless and we were fortunate enough to team up with one of them. The San Diego Rescue Mission was where we spent a few of our days in San Diego helping with various tasks and having our eyes opened to the reality of homelessness. We toured the property which contained many rooms, bathrooms, and eating areas for women and children to stay in, wash up, and get fed before heading back out to the streets during the days. Each night, hundreds of people would line the streets to try to get a night's stay in this place. It was crazy for me to even think about. We helped serve the homeless lunch while we were there (another service that they provided) and we even went to a food pantry and talked with many of the homeless people while they were waiting for their meal. One of my most vivid memories of the trip was gathering up food and walking the streets handing it out the all the different homeless people we saw. It was scary but very eye-opening. We had some great, Godly conversations and surprisingly those people had a lot more joy than even I had. They didn't rely on "things" to keep them happy. God had given them joy and peace through their unfortunate circumstances. They had used this time to grow closer to the Lord and had many wise things to say. It was a pretty great night and I learned more than I ever expected from the homeless.

 

 

We helped out with some churches while we were there. One day we helped a group who was currently planting a church. A few people and their families were starting from scratch and had slowly gained a following. Our group helped pass out fliers to the local neighborhoods informing them of this new church arrival and seeing if they were interested in being a part of it. We also visited a few different colleges and aided with their campus ministries. It was fun to interact with college students from across the country.

 

 

We did all of our traveling in this van...it quickly became our home! We had a blast together over that week and learned so much. Our group experienced so many different parts of San Diego and our eyes were really opened there. The people that we got to interact with for the week were just wonderful and you could tell the heart and plans they had for this city.

I loved California just as much if not more than I thought I would! I had such a great experience on this particular trip! "Greater things have yet to come; greater things are still to be done in this city." I truly believe that about San Diego. Although the Christian popular there is small, the ones that are there now have such a passion for the people of San Diego. I had peace while leaving knowing that this city was in good hands.