When "Happily Ever After" Hasn't Come Yet

In our world today, we are programmed to believe that every story, every conflict, every struggle ends in a "happily ever after" fashion. Each problem we face must conclude with a tidy ending wrapped up neatly with a bow on top. With movies and TV as our example and the instant gratification mentality that our society has acquired, it's no wonder we expect instant answers and quick resolution. But what happens when certain seasons of life don't play out in the way we expect? What if there isn't a quick fix to the problems we are facing? What if things don't just work out?

I've been in such a strange season of life recently. I'm getting older and life is changing rapidly right before my eyes. Friends are scattered and in different phases of life. Work is more of a duty than a source of passion and fulfillment. Being a wife and a mother is on the forefront of my mind most hours of most days. I can feel myself slipping away from my old life while this new phase takes over. In so many ways, this is such a joyful and meaningful time. I am so very happy in many aspects of my life, but on the flip side, this season of life is very challenging and sometimes lonely. Friendships are changing, my purpose is evolving, and the sense of community that I once felt seems to be fleeting. It's easy to feel a little lost in all the changes. That question of "Who am I?" keeps coming back in my mind as I feel like I am almost redefining myself through this season of life. Some days feel a lot like going through the fire to hopefully come out better on the other side. It's such a confusing time.

I've gone to God many times at this point and just asked "why"? Why am I going through this season and why do I feel so alone in it sometimes? Why do things have to change and why haven't You provided me with the solution to how I'm feeling? Why does life give us seasons that are so paradoxical and inconsistent? I kept asking these questions and looking for the lesson that God was trying to teach me through all of this. I kept wanting the pain to be quick and the healing to show itself instantly. I kept waiting on the "Great Provider" to give me what I was longing for. I figured, I'll just have faith and He will come through. God will get me out of this "pit" and give me a magical rope to pull myself out. He is going to change my situation, just you wait.

As time went on, I felt worn down from the struggles I was facing and felt like things weren't changing at all. I had waited and waited, made every effort I could, and things were still the same. What the heck, God? What are you doing here? It's taken me a while to see it, but I feel like God is teaching me a huge lesson through this season. And it doesn't have a fairy tale ending...at least not yet. This story involves things staying the same and me being the one to (begrudgingly) change. I'm striving to be content in this season even though things aren't exactly how I wish they were. I'm reminded to be thankful for all the things I do have and all the things that are going as I hoped. Sometimes no matter how much we wish, there isn't always a quick and easy fix to our trials and tribulations. Sometimes the answer is just learning to lean more and more into God and find your comfort and strength in the one thing that will never change. I don't know how this story ends yet, but I continue to have faith. And I urge you to do the same. When "happily ever after" hasn't come yet....that's when you keep going, keep believing, keep trusting. But you can also let yourself be disappointed. Let yourself ask the hard questions. Not every season of life has a picture perfect ending. Sometimes the struggle continues and that's okay. I'm learning to accept that and I hope you do too.

Breastfeeding Essentials

Breastfeeding essentials, sounds like a blast, right? Breastfeeding is something that has been happening since the beginning of time, but in recent years, the topic has become a little more taboo. Breastfeeding isn't always discussed as freely as it should be and a lot of women are very private about the subject. While it's totally fine to be modest when it comes to breastfeeding, I believe it's important for us, as women, to be open and honest with each other when it comes to anything and everything mommy. No, I don't mean women cutting each other down as parents and insisting that their way is the best. I mean that it's important for mothers to humbly share their knowledge and what works for them. That is why I chose to write this particular post. These are the items that have really helped me when it comes to breastfeeding. I have a 2.5 month old son and he has been exclusively breastfed since day one. I was so grateful for the friendly advice I got from other mothers about things that helped them while breastfeeding. I wish there were more articles out there with helpful hints concerning the subject. Breastfeeding is hard and it takes dedication. These products have helped me stick with breastfeeding despite the struggles and challenges I've faced on the way. So here's my two cents:

1. Medela In Style Advanced Pump -- Whether you are planning on returning back to work or you are going to be a stay-at-home mom, I highly recommend getting a breast pump and specifically this one. The Medela In Style Advanced Pump is an awesome breast pump! I got it free through my insurance (retails $200) and it has been so helpful for me as a working mom. I recommend that you ask your health insurance if they cover a breast pump before you go out and purchase one because most companies will cover one for free! This pump is great because it's electric and a double pump meaning the pump does all the work, so I don't have to AND I can pump on both sides at once which cuts my pumping time in half. I use this pump on the days that I work, so that I can pump bottles for my baby. The pump is compact, light, and easy to bring with you wherever you go. It's super easy to use (even though it looks a little intimidating at first) and hassle-free. I also love the Medela brand because you can get everything you need for the pump (bottles, tops, nipples, etc.) at Target instead of having to order online. I think it's awesome to have a pump for when you need to leave your baby with someone or if you want daddy to be able to help out and feed baby as well. As much as I love breastfeeding, sometimes it's nice to be able to have some help and not be the sole food source. I was terrified about going back to work because I thought I would have to give up breastfeeding, but this pump has allowed me to continue on exclusively breastfeeding my son. I am so grateful I didn't have to give up breastfeeding and I owe a lot of that to this pump!

 

2. Nipple shield -- The nipple shield was a lifesaver for me in the first few weeks of breastfeeding! Luckily a friend recommended this to me before Grayson was born, so I had one on hand. I would highly recommend buying one BEFORE your baby arrives if you are planning on breastfeeding because when you want it, you want it immediately (because you are in major pain). I knew breastfeeding wasn't going to be a walk in the park and had heard horror stories from many friends. I am blessed to be able to say that breastfeeding has gone very smoothly for Grayson and I. But no matter how smoothly it goes, those first few weeks are always tough! It takes your body a while to adjust to a tiny human being attached to your nipple for a majority of the time. Your nipples literally have to "toughen up" and that process is very painful. I would say it took me a good three weeks before my body was used to breast feeding and I wasn't in pain every time he latched on. But those first few weeks...ouch! I literally felt nauseous each time he would latch on and would tell my husband how ridiculous it was that it hurt THAT badly. That's where the nipple shield came in. I wouldn't use it all the time, but I would use it when one side was in dire need of a break. The nipple shield helped get me through the painful times when it would have been easy to give up on breastfeeding. I picked mine up at Target for under $10 (worth every penny).

3. Lanolin nipple cream -- This cream was another lifesaver during the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Your nipples crack, bleed, and are super sensitive when they are adjusting to breastfeeding. It's painful! This cream was really helpful in making the adjustment bearable and gave me the relief I needed between feedings. The product is natural and safe for your baby to digest (inevitable if you are feeding every 2 hours). Highly recommend having this on hand BEFORE baby arrives as well. You'll thank me I promise! You can find this cream pretty much anywhere and a little goes a long way, so it lasts a long time.

4. Nursing bras -- If you are planning on breastfeeding for any length of time, you are going to want to invest in a good nursing bra. If you are currently breastfeeding, you know how often you are removing your bra. If you aren't yet, then you are about to learn! For the first month or two, your baby eats almost every two hours. It makes life much easier if you are wearing a bra that you don't have to take off  or mess with each time the baby feeds. Find one that is comfortable and easy to latch off and on. I bought two nursing bras before I had Grayson and I love them both. The first one is a soft and comfy wireless bra that I wear at night or if I'm at home for the day. It's a cotton material and allows you to feed your baby very easily while keeping mom comfortable. The second bra I purchased almost looks like a regular bra with underwire but it has the latches on it that make breastfeeding extremely convenient. I needed a nursing bra with underwire for going out in public, just a personal preference. The awesome thing about this bra is that is looks and acts like a regular bra, but just makes breastfeeding a heck of a lot easier! I bought both my nursing bras at Motherhood Maternity and would recommend that store if you want a quality and comfortable nursing bra. I looked at Target and Wal-Mart for nursing bras and couldn't ever find anything that wasn't extremely uncomfortable to wear. Nursing bras are purely needed for convenience, but I think they are worth the investment. I love being able to wear a regular bra and still easily nurse my baby!

5. Nursing cover -- Before I had Grayson, I didn't know what type of mom I would be when it came to breastfeeding. I didn't think I would be the mom that breastfed in public with no cover at all, but I had no clue how comfortable I would be breastfeeding in public even with a cover. I went to a consignment sale and bought a nice Baby Balboa nursing cover for $5. I bought it just in case I needed it in the future and I am really glad I did! The cover has already come in handy so many times. I soon realized that although I don't love breastfeeding in public, I also hate leaving the group and going to sit in a room by myself for 20 minutes while everyone else is together. It wasn't always convenient to find a private (and clean) place to nurse, so I would pull out my nursing cover. I've used it a few times at restaurants and also in my own home while people are over. It's not too big or bulky and is very easy to throw in your bag on the go. You can also wash it very easily. The nursing cover does just that, it covers all the right places without making you feel like you are wearing a blanket. It even has a little peep hole, so that you can keep an on eye your baby while he/she is covered up and eating. The nursing cover keeps you modest and covered, while allowing you to stay present wherever you are. The cover isn't even noticeable to most people. I've used it before and people won't even realize what I'm doing. I really like it and it allows me to breastfeed on the go!

Saving Money on Food

Hello Readers,

Hopefully you are still with me! I haven't posted anything in a while as my life has been quite hectic. Between work, church, my husband starting his fall semester, and baby planning on the forefront of my mind, writing has taken a back seat. I did, however, want to get out a small blog post about something else that has been a priority of mine lately and that's saving money. Saving money on food that is. 

My husband and I are in our mid-twenties. We both work and work hard, but at this age I feel like most of us are still in that money saving, majorly budgeting stage of life. This only gets more complicated when you are expecting a baby exactly 4 months from today (crazy!). I'm constantly trying to figure out the best way to budget our money and where we can save. Like most people, one of our biggest expenses is food, definitely not very exciting, but it is where a huge chunk of our money goes. Lately, I have found a few successful ways to save money on food. I thought I would share them today in hopes that maybe some of you are in the same "Where-Can-We-Save-Money?" battle. Here are a few tips I've learned so far!

1.  Don't go grocery shopping in-between weekly trips. I don't know what you do, but I tend to go to the grocery store once a week. I'm pretty good at sticking to this, but there are usually things I forget or things that pop up during the week that I need but don't have. Lately, instead of going to the store mid-week to get those few random things that I could probably live without, I have been waiting until my weekly shop to go back to the grocery store. Only going during my specified times really helps cutting down on food cost because I'm not spending money there multiple times a week. I only go once a week. Obviously if there is something you really need, go get it. I just know I could go every day if I really wanted (we always need something), but I would end up spending much more money that way.

2. Use up what you already have. This goes off my first point. Instead of constantly buying new things once you run out, use up what you have first. This is something I've been doing more recently and it's shocking how long we can last on the food we already have without having to buy more. Lately, I've been trying to make my weekly shop very minimal and instead use up the food I already have on hand or use what I already have as the base of a recipe rather than buying all new things for a new recipe. If I run out of a particular ingredient, I see what I have on hand that would make a good substitute instead of running to the store to buy something new. This is a great way to save money and you will be surprised how much food you have built up in your pantry and freezer.

3. Only get what you NEED instead of buying ahead of time. This one all depends on sales and how much you like to plan ahead. Personally, I struggle with this one because I am a planner. If I see we are low on something, I like to go ahead and buy the replacement item immediately, so we don't run out. The problem is I find myself buying things a little too far in advance when I could wait another week to replace that item, therefore spending money before I have to. If you see something on sale or you know you will run out of it before your next shopping trip, buy it. I have just found that I can last longer without replacing items than I thought I could. I also limit what I buy to what we actually need instead of what would be nice to have. We could have 3 different kinds of chips, 4 different cereal boxes, 2 kinds of lunch meat, 3 different types of desserts and 5 pounds of ground beef, but we don't need that. I want to have choices, but only having limited choices is okay too.

4. When going out to eat -- share a plate or take a box of leftovers home with you. Josh and I rarely go out to eat, like almost never. But on the rare occasion that we do eat out, I have found a few ways to save money. Eating out can kill your wallet, I would know. Before Josh and I were married, we ate out all the time and it was such a waste of our hard earned cash. When we go out to eat now, I like to do one of two things: either share a plate of food or take half my food home and eat it as another meal. Obviously these two choices aren't always possible, but it's nice to do it when you can. We all know most restaurants give you a huge amount of food, so it's easy to share a plate with your partner or a friend. Sharing a plate means getting two meals for the price of one -- score! Another way to get two meals for the price of one is only eating half the meal and taking the rest home with you. I do this all the time. Josh and I don't really have the same food interests -- he loves pizza and I love salad, so we prefer to order separately. I am usually given much more food than I could ever finish in one sitting though. I used to let them throw away all the extra food at the end of the meal, but I have started always getting a to-go box if I have any extras. I can usually make a whole second meal out of it, therefore saving money and eating good food twice!

These are my "Saving Money on Food" tips and tricks. Sticking to these rules has allowed us to save and been very helpful for our family. These tips may seem like no-brainers to a lot of you money saving pros, but to me they are new found lessons that I felt were important enough to share. Let me know how you save money when it comes to food. I would love to hear your tips and tricks!