Always In A Rush

I don't know about you, but this year has flown by for me. Less than 3 months until 2015...that's crazy! It seems like the days are long, but the years are short. My husband recently reminded me of how important it is to cherish our time and each moment that we are living in instead of rushing from one to the next. It really got me thinking about how I don't always take the time to stop and appreciate where I'm at. I'm always going, going, going and pushing on to the next big thing. When did I stop being satisfied with where I am? When did I stop taking in the day-to-day moments that make up my life? Why am I not cherishing my time instead of wishing it to pass more quickly? These questions fill my mind this morning.

Last week was a particularly rough week for me. A lot of unexpected things happened and I was stuck on the feeling-sorry-for-myself bus. One of those hardships was dealing with a co-worker's death. It was expected, but difficult nonetheless. I (thankfully) haven't had much experience with loved ones passing away and this particular co-worker was someone whom I loved. He was the sweetest man and his passing deeply affected everyone he knew. I went to his memorial service on Thursday evening already down in the dumps about the events of the week. Funny thing was that all my problems immediately seemed insignificant once I walked in the funeral home. Funerals have a way of bringing clarity to situations and reminding us of what's really important. I sat through the service and I felt the overwhelming reminder of how temporary life is and how our time here on earth is quickly fleeting, day-by-day and moment-by-moment.  It occurred to me that I wasn't always as thankful as I should be for the life I've been given. I was too busy rushing around, worrying and doing, to really enjoy living to the fullest. Almost everything in my daily life, all my troubles and quandaries, are so brief. I get so consumed and focused on the little things in my life that I don't appreciate my time as I should and I let it pass without taking it in, without cherishing.

I left the funeral suddenly extremely grateful for my situations and my time. God has given me time that others don't have any more. And I don't always spend it as I should. I rush instead of taking the time to slow down and look around. I wish away time instead of cherishing moments. I complain about imperfections in my life instead of appreciating the things are that going right. I'm already 26 years old, married, and expecting my first child. Time has flown! Most days I realize how much God has blessed me (because He has beyond my wildest dreams), but it's also easy to get caught up rushing through this time period instead of appreciating exactly where I am. At the end of my life, most of the things that consume my mind on a daily basis aren't that important. The things I will remember most will be the moments where I took the time to slow down, put things in perspective, and allowed myself to fully enjoy that moment in time. I don't want to get to the end of this life and finally realize how blessed I was, I want it to be a daily realization. I don't want my vision to get clouded each day by trials and time. I want to see clearly.

So yeah, last week was pretty rough. And yes, it's easy to want to rush through this time period to get to the next (especially when you have a baby on the way!). It's easy to not cherish each moment as it happens, but that's where the joy is. And I want to experience that joy. None of us know exactly how long we have left on this earth, so let's make the most of each day we have been given instead of wishing it was tomorrow. Time doesn't have to be a bad thing, in fact, it can be beautiful.

"I Need To Be Skinnier"

I haven't written too much about health on this blog, but being healthy and in shape is a big part of my life. I've had my ups and downs with weight over the years. I've gone through very healthy and somewhat unhealthy phases. If you are a woman reading this, then I feel like you will be able to relate on some level. Women constantly worry about weight and appearance. The older we get, the worse this obsession becomes. I see so many women going to extremes to achieve their goal weight or a certain look. It makes me sick to watch. I'm here to share my personal health journey and hope that it will inspire some of you to see that leading a healthy life doesn't have to be all about counting calories and spending countless hours in the gym. It takes some self-love and dedication to not becoming skinny, but becoming healthy (physically AND mentally).

From the time I was young, I have always worried about weight. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at age 11 and was considered overweight for my age at that point. Before my diagnosis, I just thought I was rapidly gaining weight and can remember being conscious of what I put into my body at an early age. In the 3rd grade, I started drinking water instead of juice. I tried to eat more fruits and vegetables and to cut out sweets. I was already trying to "diet" because I didn't like how I looked. After I got on the right medication, the pounds began to shed and I got back to my natural weight.

I was on the track and cross county teams in middle and high school, so I was constantly running. That definitely helped me stay in shape in my teens, but I still stayed close to the scale to constantly check my weight. I have always eaten fairly healthy and had a love for healthy foods. I also have a love for sweets. So when I got to college, I was amazed by the plethora of food I saw everywhere. I had a 24/7 access pass to the dining hall and went out to eat Waffle House in the middle of the night regularly with friends. The pounds started coming back on. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was my heaviest in college. I would work out regularly, but I would also binge eat and go to bed extremely full on a regular basis. I overate and believed I needed way too many calories to keep my body going. I was truly uneducated about what being healthy really meant.

My senior year of college after Christmas break, I decided I needed to go on a "diet". My weight was at an all-time high and I wanted to get down to what I had been in high school. I started eating healthy and working out, but I was a bit obsessive about it. I went to the gym 5-6 days a week in college and felt like something was off if I wasn't there. I thought I needed to be there in order to not gain weight. While this isn't a crazy extreme, my mindset was unhealthy. A few weeks before graduation, I reached my goal weight. But looking back, I didn't do it in the healthiest way. I wasn't consuming enough calories and was pushing myself to the limit. I believed that if I just ate less, then I wouldn't have to work out as much and I could still be "skinny". While that was true, it was difficult to maintain. I gained some of the weight back after graduation and it was hard to step on that scale.

When I got engaged, I started losing weight again, not on purpose this time but because of stress and busyness. I began eating slightly less calories but also letting myself indulge. I didn't feel like I was depriving myself anymore. I was working out, but only 3 days a week, nothing extreme. It was through that method and putting less focus on weight than I ever had, that I got to my skinniest and healthiest state. Pretty ironic, huh?

I'm not saying this method works for everyone, but I can say that I have been able to maintain a weight I am very happy with while still being healthy for almost a year and a half. I work out, but I don't live at the gym. I eat healthy, but I also eat unhealthy sometimes. I am not constantly counting calories. Everything in moderation is my new personal slogan. I have seen a change in my body and my mind by putting less emphasis on the scale and more on being a happier person all around. I am happier, healthier, and skinnier when I take the pressure off of myself and decrease my intensity with trying to be thin. I changed my focus and it worked.

I was inspired to write this particular blog after constantly seeing women who hate on themselves and who put every ounce of their being into reaching their goal weight. Even if you look on Pinterest, there are a million recipes on how to make things differently to cut calories. I think healthy choices are very important, but eating a little less of something with a higher calorie content and feeling satisfied instead of deprived is okay too. Don't get caught up in everything "diet" and "skinny". Eat a piece of cake, just don't eat 5. Depriving yourself is NOT the solution to a healthy life, but loving yourself is. Everywhere we look; there is pressure to be smaller, to push ourselves, our bodies, and our minds to the extreme. Moderation is key. Lifestyle changes are more effective than diets. Eat in moderation, workout in moderation, and dedicate your time and energy to being thinner in moderation. The scale may not look different, but that doesn't mean that you aren't getting results. Throw the scale out if you have to in order to focus on being healthy (physically and mentally) not skinny. You will be a much healthier and happier person in the long run.

Best Valentine's Day Ever

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Hope you all have a beautiful day filled with all types of love. I've actually never been very big on Valentine's Day. I like to do something special, but never over the top. I would rather give and receive love on random days of the year rather than on a day where people feel pressured to show love to one another. Over the years, Valentine's Day has altered its meaning to me. It has morphed from one thing to the next based on where I was in life. I can say that my view of the holiday this year has topped any typical "flowers, candy, and perfect dinner date" day I may have thought of in the past.

As a child, I loved celebrating Valentine's Day at school with my friends by exchanging cute paper Valentine's cards and receiving a little gift from my parents each year. But let's be honest, it was all about the CANDY as a child. In middle school and high school, it was all about showing off what your significant other got for you. Students would walk around the halls with flowers, massive teddy bears, candy and anything to show that they were taken and "loved". It was a great day for those who had someone and a dreaded day by those who didn't. When I was in college, a group of us "single" girls would get dressed up and go to dinner and a movie to celebrate Valentine's Day together. We felt united by doing this and not so alone. I really enjoyed those girl's nights on the day where it would be easy to feel excluded. When my husband and I were dating, it was a day filled with some pressure. It felt like we "needed" to do something special and over the top. It felt like there had to be a gift involved to make the day meaningful. And if you didn't get those things, there was a sense of disappointment.

I have had some good and some bad Valentine's Days over the years, but one thing is for certain, this year is by far the best. I finally see that there is no pressure involved. No need to prove anything. And there never was, I just always felt like I needed to. Valentine's Day is the day of "love" and the meaning of today is just that. I now get excited about Valentine's Day, not especially because of my relationship, but because it is an opportunity for me to show love to everyone in my life. It's not about the flowers, candy, over the top gifts, or relationship status...it's about love. I hope that you take the time to show love to the people in your life on a daily basis, but instead of feeling pressured or sad about today, use it as a day to show love to others. It's a day to be thankful for everyone in your life that you have to love and for those that love you. It makes me sad when girls get down on themselves for not having a "Valentine". Who cares? You have so many people in your life who love you and who you get to love. And that love alone is enough to make this a happy, joyful day.

Happy Valentine's Day to all my family and friends. Don't forget, YOU ARE LOVED. Now go return that love to the world.

TECHNOLOGY

Our world has become ever dependent on the technology around us. Only a few years ago, we had to find a payphone to stop at for an urgent call and now it seems like a travesty when our cell phones, our life lines, die. We depend on technology for almost everything. We are so spoiled by it that it seems nearly impossible to function without it. Our dependence on our phones, computers, iPod, iPad, navigation systems, social media, etc. is at an all-time high. But what happens when technology fails us or doesn't live up to our expectation of perfection? What if that thing that we put all of our time, energy and reliance into doesn't always come through for us?

This morning, I realized how much trust I really do put into technology and how it can sometimes fail me. Like most of you, I haven't used a real alarm clock in years. I just set an alarm on my phone and without fail (most of the time), it wakes me up at the appropriate time. Being a child of the 21st century, using a traditional alarm clock seems "old school" or even out-of-date to me. Well somehow during the night, my phone must have turned itself off and instead of my alarm going off at 5:40am like always, it was silent. I slept in and had no idea what was going on until I woke up to the sun rising. My first thought was, I never get up when it's light out! It's always dark outside and early. Once I saw the light outside, I knew I had overslept. I dashed out the door like a madwomen and it took the majority of the ride for me to calm down. I felt silly for relying on my cell phone to get me up and to work on time. Technology had in fact failed me.

I have grown up during the age where technology is constantly growing and changing at a rapid rate. I have already seen so much progress in my lifetime and it's easy to get sucked in to the hype. Between my husband and I, I would say that we own the majority of the devices out there and I would consider both of us quite tech savvy. We know how to work them and we depend on them in our everyday lives. We like how easy and quick they make everyday activities. Technology has made us impatient and lazy, always wanting to look for the short cut. It has taken away our ability to appreciate the simple things in life. And I must say that my incident this morning has made me long a little more for a life filled with less complicated technology and more beautiful simplicity.

Our society tells us that we need the newest thing to enrich our lives. These machines won't ever let us down, but will open us up to a whole new world. Well I would argue that the most enjoyable times in my life are when I leave my phone at home and soak up the people and places around me. There is more to this life than relying on computers to run it for you or to provide you with mindless entertainment. We put so much of ourselves into little pieces of plastic that can easily fail us instead of investing in the people around us. We miss the things going on in our lives because we are not present. We are constantly distracted. There is so much beauty and fulfillment in the simplicity of flipping the pages of a good book (instead of a Kindle), spending time in nature (instead of on the computer), writing a letter (instead of email), misreading a map and taking an adventure (instead of a GPS), having to sound words out and look them up (instead of spell check), and being completely present for moments with your family and friends (instead of constantly distracted).

I challenge you (and myself) to stray away from technology for a while. Don't rely on it and don't let it suck you in. There are so many amazing things happening right in front of your face that you are missing because you are so tuned in to your technology. Take the hard way sometimes instead of the cheap short cuts that technology provides us. I assure it will enrich your lives more than technology ever could.

BEING ALONE

In our culture today, it's a rare moment when you find yourself to be fully alone. There's always something going on and something that needs to be done. With all of the technology and different ways to communicate with people, it is difficult to not be "connected" to everyone at all times. Even when we do get a spare moment to ourselves, we tend to fill it with some type of distraction: music, texting, Facebook, calling a friend, etc. Let's face it, we don't like to be alone and we don't like to be still. We don't like to feel disconnected with society. Why do we run away from these quiet moments? Why can't we handle feeling alone? Why can't we just be still?

When I get in my car every day after work, I almost always start my call list. I call my mom, my husband, or my best friend until one of them answers. If I can't get ahold of anyone, I turn on music and try to find something to distract me until I get home. Until recently, I had never noticed my desperation in finding something to fill these quiet moments. I just hate feeling alone and having nothing to do. I want a friend, music, or technology to keep me company, so I don't have to sit in that dreaded silence. But what am I so afraid of? Why can't I just sit there and feel the stillness all around me? I feel like I must be doing something at all times. I must be linked to the outside world.

Technology has completely spoiled us. It has made us dependent upon constant communication and constant distraction. We have the world at our fingertips and it's all just one click away. We aren't comfortable distancing ourselves from what's going on in everyone's lives. We feel strange when it's quiet and there isn't anything to keep us busy. We get our satisfaction and fulfillment from our technology and from always having something to occupy our time, whether that thing is significant or not. Although this might seem like a crazy statement that most of us would disagree with, we must ask ourselves where the majority of our times is spent? Is it spent being still, recharging so that we have the energy for our families and friends, talking to God and letting Him speak to us in the silence? Or is it spent on our Facebook, our phones, music, tv, or our tedious and sometimes pointless To Do Lists that we get so wrapped up in?

Taking the time be alone has become something that people just don't do. And I think it's time for that to change. I suggest that we all take the time to be more intentional about disconnecting ourselves from the world. Put your phones down, shut your computers, and turn off the music. Don't be afraid of the silence that will permeate the room. Take the time to focus on what's really important, take the time to pray, take the time to rid your mind of all the junk that's been filling it. It's actually quite refreshing to detach yourself from those vises that we hold so tightly to.

Never Satisfied

It's a sickness, an epidemic that has taken over our country without us even realizing it.

Every day it becomes more and more apparent to me how our society runs. We live in an "est" culture. We want the best, the biggest, the happiest, the smartest, the prettiest, the richest, etc. Nothing is ever good enough for us; we want it all. It's not necessarily a bad thing to desire more and work hard to get there, but when not having the "est" of everything takes over your being, then it's a problem. Why are we never content?

This issue is especially prominent in women today. There is something wired in us that makes us see something great happening to someone else and instead of being happy for them, we instantly get jealous. We want that for ourselves, despite all of the great things we already have. I see it in my friends and I see it in myself. If we are single, then we want a boyfriend. If we have a boyfriend, we want to get engaged. If we are engaged, we want the biggest ring and the best wedding. Even if we are blessed with a wonderful marriage, we want a house, a baby, a new car....it never ends. What is so sad about this mindset is that it takes away from what we do have. Each of us have countless blessings at our fingertips whether it is a job, a child, a parent, a friend, or anything that makes us happy. Don't get so caught up with what's happening in everyone else's life that you miss all the awesome things happening in YOUR life. It's dangerous to start lusting after what everyone else has. You suddenly look at your life and feel like it's not good enough. I'll be honest, this makes me really angry. I see so many amazing women who have a great job, a great boyfriend, or a great group of friends, get down on themselves because they are missing that one thing in their lives. They instantly feel unworthy. That's a distorted point of view and it's not the truth.

It's a sickness, an epidemic that has taken over our country without us even realizing it. It relentlessly controls our minds and our lives and it has got to stop. Envy steals contentment from our hearts. It takes the peace out of our lives and replaces it with jealousy and ultimately, hate. Hate for the people in our lives who have what we want and hate for ourselves for not having or not being enough. Don't let it. We each need to take a step back from this toxic outlook that we have been sucked into and realize all that we do have. We need to take up an attitude of contentment and thanksgiving for the wonderful gifts we have been given. Each of us is so blessed and beautiful, on the inside and outside. Remember that. Don't let your life be in a constant state of bitterness because of what you lack. Make an effort each day to count your blessings and be thankful for where you are at. Rest in what you have accomplished and where you are headed. As women, we have got to make this change and set an example of a thankful heart for the people around us and for generations to come. This green eyed monster is only going to get bigger the more we feed it.

Take a stand today and open up your eyes...your life is beautiful.