Just Say No

I don't know about you, but my life is pretty hectic...all the time. I'm always busy. I always have stuff going on. It's hard to get a spare moment to just catch my breath. The thing is...I bring most of this on myself. I am one of those people-pleasers. I can't ever say "no". I want to be involved in everything. I want to help everyone out. I almost feel like I am disappointing people by choosing to opt out of an activity, so I rarely do it. I don't take enough time for myself because I consistently say "yes" to everything and anything. I need to learn to take a step back and just say "no".

It's so hard to be selfish sometimes, with that people-pleaser instinct constantly lurking within me. I really don't like letting other people down, but I have come to the realization that I truly don't do enough for myself. I pile on the activities and it all becomes too much. Even good activities can become overwhelming if there are too many. I need to simplify my life and start taking the time for me. In our world today, I feel like we are all constantly running, always on the move. It's "normal" to have a full schedule and almost seems lazy to sit at home for the evening and just do nothing (at least for me). I feel like we have an added pressure to be busy and with the plethora of functions/clubs/Bible studies/church activities/get-togethers...it's easy to succumb to that pressure. It's easy to get bogged down with a busy schedule and suddenly realize you are running yourself ragged. It's easy to become drained from the race I feel like I am running.

I need renewal. I am burnt-out. I'm taking this as my summer challenge: to just say no. I have a lot of spring activities that are wrapping up soon and I believe the summer will be a perfect time period for me to just rest. I want to relax and give myself the chance to breathe. I want to cut out the clutter from my life that sometimes causes more stress than benefit. It's time for me to do something for me. It's a necessary selfishness that must take place. I need a new focus, on the things that truly matter. I don't know if any of this resonates with you, but if it does, I challenge you to do the same. Take a step back and learn to say "no" sometimes. If we really want to be the best people that we can be, this time of renewal and rest and even selfishness is necessary. I'm learning to start saying "no" to others and "yes" to myself.

TECHNOLOGY

Our world has become ever dependent on the technology around us. Only a few years ago, we had to find a payphone to stop at for an urgent call and now it seems like a travesty when our cell phones, our life lines, die. We depend on technology for almost everything. We are so spoiled by it that it seems nearly impossible to function without it. Our dependence on our phones, computers, iPod, iPad, navigation systems, social media, etc. is at an all-time high. But what happens when technology fails us or doesn't live up to our expectation of perfection? What if that thing that we put all of our time, energy and reliance into doesn't always come through for us?

This morning, I realized how much trust I really do put into technology and how it can sometimes fail me. Like most of you, I haven't used a real alarm clock in years. I just set an alarm on my phone and without fail (most of the time), it wakes me up at the appropriate time. Being a child of the 21st century, using a traditional alarm clock seems "old school" or even out-of-date to me. Well somehow during the night, my phone must have turned itself off and instead of my alarm going off at 5:40am like always, it was silent. I slept in and had no idea what was going on until I woke up to the sun rising. My first thought was, I never get up when it's light out! It's always dark outside and early. Once I saw the light outside, I knew I had overslept. I dashed out the door like a madwomen and it took the majority of the ride for me to calm down. I felt silly for relying on my cell phone to get me up and to work on time. Technology had in fact failed me.

I have grown up during the age where technology is constantly growing and changing at a rapid rate. I have already seen so much progress in my lifetime and it's easy to get sucked in to the hype. Between my husband and I, I would say that we own the majority of the devices out there and I would consider both of us quite tech savvy. We know how to work them and we depend on them in our everyday lives. We like how easy and quick they make everyday activities. Technology has made us impatient and lazy, always wanting to look for the short cut. It has taken away our ability to appreciate the simple things in life. And I must say that my incident this morning has made me long a little more for a life filled with less complicated technology and more beautiful simplicity.

Our society tells us that we need the newest thing to enrich our lives. These machines won't ever let us down, but will open us up to a whole new world. Well I would argue that the most enjoyable times in my life are when I leave my phone at home and soak up the people and places around me. There is more to this life than relying on computers to run it for you or to provide you with mindless entertainment. We put so much of ourselves into little pieces of plastic that can easily fail us instead of investing in the people around us. We miss the things going on in our lives because we are not present. We are constantly distracted. There is so much beauty and fulfillment in the simplicity of flipping the pages of a good book (instead of a Kindle), spending time in nature (instead of on the computer), writing a letter (instead of email), misreading a map and taking an adventure (instead of a GPS), having to sound words out and look them up (instead of spell check), and being completely present for moments with your family and friends (instead of constantly distracted).

I challenge you (and myself) to stray away from technology for a while. Don't rely on it and don't let it suck you in. There are so many amazing things happening right in front of your face that you are missing because you are so tuned in to your technology. Take the hard way sometimes instead of the cheap short cuts that technology provides us. I assure it will enrich your lives more than technology ever could.

BEING ALONE

In our culture today, it's a rare moment when you find yourself to be fully alone. There's always something going on and something that needs to be done. With all of the technology and different ways to communicate with people, it is difficult to not be "connected" to everyone at all times. Even when we do get a spare moment to ourselves, we tend to fill it with some type of distraction: music, texting, Facebook, calling a friend, etc. Let's face it, we don't like to be alone and we don't like to be still. We don't like to feel disconnected with society. Why do we run away from these quiet moments? Why can't we handle feeling alone? Why can't we just be still?

When I get in my car every day after work, I almost always start my call list. I call my mom, my husband, or my best friend until one of them answers. If I can't get ahold of anyone, I turn on music and try to find something to distract me until I get home. Until recently, I had never noticed my desperation in finding something to fill these quiet moments. I just hate feeling alone and having nothing to do. I want a friend, music, or technology to keep me company, so I don't have to sit in that dreaded silence. But what am I so afraid of? Why can't I just sit there and feel the stillness all around me? I feel like I must be doing something at all times. I must be linked to the outside world.

Technology has completely spoiled us. It has made us dependent upon constant communication and constant distraction. We have the world at our fingertips and it's all just one click away. We aren't comfortable distancing ourselves from what's going on in everyone's lives. We feel strange when it's quiet and there isn't anything to keep us busy. We get our satisfaction and fulfillment from our technology and from always having something to occupy our time, whether that thing is significant or not. Although this might seem like a crazy statement that most of us would disagree with, we must ask ourselves where the majority of our times is spent? Is it spent being still, recharging so that we have the energy for our families and friends, talking to God and letting Him speak to us in the silence? Or is it spent on our Facebook, our phones, music, tv, or our tedious and sometimes pointless To Do Lists that we get so wrapped up in?

Taking the time be alone has become something that people just don't do. And I think it's time for that to change. I suggest that we all take the time to be more intentional about disconnecting ourselves from the world. Put your phones down, shut your computers, and turn off the music. Don't be afraid of the silence that will permeate the room. Take the time to focus on what's really important, take the time to pray, take the time to rid your mind of all the junk that's been filling it. It's actually quite refreshing to detach yourself from those vises that we hold so tightly to.