HILLSONG UNITED CONCERT

Last week was a particularly rough week for me. I had a conversation with a few people very close to me and was taken aback by their views. I knew their beliefs did not exactly match with mine, but I had no idea how different the two actually were. I suddenly felt alone in my faith and somewhat hopeless about the situation, knowing there wasn't much I could do to change their minds. I felt like every word that came out of my mouth was being viewed as a dagger against them and nothing I said would make them feel the way I did. I felt so discouraged.

Thankfully before the conversation ended, I got the opportunity to describe to them how I felt about my faith, that it was more than just "religion" to me. I told them it is my passion. It is the driving force behind my life and my marriage. It is something I would die for. It's like being deeper in love than you could ever imagine. I told them it was the ultimate love story in my life. They said they had never felt that way about anything, in their whole life. I desperately wanted them to experience that kind of love.

Later that week, I went to go to the Hillsong United concert. Hillsong has always been my favorite Christian band. Their style of worship is so powerful to me and I can always feel God's presence as I worship with them. This was the third time I was seeing them in concert, so I knew to expect a great show. Little did I know how crucial that concert would be for me. I wasn't in the best mood then we got there and I half sung the songs with the opening band. There was a really long break before the main act came on and I was irritated that we had to wait so long for the show to start, being that I had to work early the next morning. They finally dimmed the lights and Hillsong took the stage. They started playing one of their most powerful songs, "The Stand" which talks about letting everything go and just praising Him. From that point on, I shut out everything around me. I didn't pay any attention to the people, the lights, my thoughts, or my pain from earlier in the week. In that moment, it was just God and I. If you haven't, I hope you someday get the chance to worship God with a massive group of people. There is nothing like it. It is like a little glimpse of Heaven and it is always beautifully breathtaking.

That concert was exactly what I needed. I spent 2 full hours worshipping Jesus with all I had, being still before Him, and listening to what He had to say to me. I was strengthened and encouraged in my faith. I felt part of a community of believers around me. I didn't feel alone anymore. After feeling so broken earlier in the week, I felt whole in His presence. I thought to myself, this is why I live my life the way that I do. This is why I am willing to take criticism for my faith. This is why my life has been transformed. This is why I am passionate and dedicated to what I believe. This is why I am deeply in love. This is why all of the sacrifices and hardships are worth it. This is why I have to be bold in my faith no matter how scary it is and how different it makes me. Being in God's presence, worshipping Him with all I am, this is worth it all.

"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours"

5 YEARS

Hello all!

I've sort of taken a blogging hiatus the past 2 weeks, mostly because I felt like I had nothing interesting to write about. Yesterday at church, it dawned on me that it was the end of September. I realized that the end of this month marks 5 years of me fully turning my life over to God. What a better thing to write about than that!

I can't believe it's been 5 years since I gave my life to Christ. In some ways, I can't remember my life before it, but in other ways, it feels like just yesterday. People always talk about how they came to know the Lord. A lot of people say that for them it wasn't some big, life changing experience. They grew up in Christian homes and had always known of God. They had always believed. It wasn't drastic, just natural. For me, it was that dramatic experience. I remember it so well.

I had just started my second year of college. I was going through a rough time and felt like I had hit rock bottom. I was done doing things my way because they just weren't working. I remember thinking that I'd see what God had for me because His way must be better than the disaster I had created on my own. I went to a Christian college conference called Confluence with my BCM. I was really nervous because it was my first Christian conference and I had no idea what to expect. I also didn't have many friends yet at the BCM, so I stuck close to the few I knew. The first night was full of worship music and getting comfortable with each other. There was something special about the atmosphere though. Something I had never felt before. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew something big was happening. The next morning, I woke up feeling different. I felt so much peace and community around me. I felt still and calm knowing something greater was going on. I didn't care about the troubles going on in my life back home, I felt joyful. I was feeling what I know now as God's presence in my life. I anticipated what the day had in store for me. The day was full of fellowship, music, and getting to know God more. At the night session, the worship was heavier than the previous night. The songs pierced my heart and I finally opened up. I had never been so still before God. I had never taken the time to really listen to what He was telling me. That night was so powerful. I had never worshipped God so hard in my life. In that moment, I knew God was telling me to finally give everything to Him. I had been baptized years earlier and I believed in Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but I didn't always act like it. I had refused to give God every part of my life. I was scared to see what He would make me change. I didn't want to give up the things I liked to do. Up until this point, I didn't want to change. But that night, I knew that it was now or never. I couldn't put it off any longer. God was calling me to be with Him, to not be scared anymore, to come home.

That night, there was sort of an alter call. I didn't actually leave my seat because I was still very shy in my faith, but I will forever remember standing there on that night knowing that I was changed. I was not the same person after that weekend. I came back to school with a brand new attitude and outlook on life. I started listening to Christian music outside of church. I started thinking about the people in my classes and wondering if they knew God. I had the sudden desire to be a witness to them. I had a thirst for God's Word like never before. I dug so deep into it. I was a new creation in Christ.

I love thinking back on that story and knowing all the amazing things that were to come once I gave my life to God. It hasn't always been easy and I haven't been perfect at it, but it has been beyond worth it. The life God has given me has been better than anything the world has ever offered. God has done so much in my life these past 5 years. I went from a girl who had never even stepped foot inside a church until age 14 to a youth pastor's wife...who would have thought! He has the ability to change your life that much and more. He is still slowly shaping me into the person that He wants to be. But it all starts with one big leap of faith. I encourage you to take that step if you haven't already. God can do the impossible and I encourage you to take Him up on that challenge. If you believe you aren't worthy or good enough, take the step into His arms anyways. I promise He will show you differently.

All hope is not lost, because He has the power to make all things new.