LETTING GO

It's interesting to me that lessons meant for children or youth, always hit me harder as an adult. The kids may walk away learning nothing, but I find myself touched and intrigued by the simplicity of the message.  This happens often during our youth group. My husband is the youth pastor and the funny thing is that because of our busy lives, we rarely discuss what will be happening at youth group beforehand. I usually don't know what he will be speaking about and I hear it all for the first time with everyone else. Our simple talks with the youth tend to resonate with me more so than any complex teaching I ever receive.

This week we talked about God's promises. Josh taught us about the concept of a covenant or an agreement that God makes with us. Of course, there are times when we don't uphold our end of the bargain, but He remains true in His promises to us always. He never fails to keep His end of the deal. Knowing that, we then looked at the commitments He had made to us throughout scripture. Among the plethora of promises God has made to us, we found one that particularly stuck out because of the New Year. God says to us, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  In these verses, He is showing us that if we just let go of the past, He will do a new thing within us. He desires that for us, not to be stuck in the past but to give us a future full of hope. He wants us to be excited about what is to come! God wants to carve a new path for us, if only we would let Him.

 

I've heard this verse many times, but as someone who struggles with letting things go and moving forward, it convicts me each time I hear it. I had a wonderful 2013, but it wasn't perfect. Like anyone, I made some mistakes and bad choices. I held onto grudges and fears. I struggled to forgive when others had wronged me. I would definitely say 2013 was a pruning year for me, where God showed me areas of my life that needed work and slowly began molding me into the wife, daughter, friend, co-worker, etc. that He has called me to be. He showed me the things I needed to let go of: selfishness, pride, irritability, anger, self-consciousness, not trusting, anxiousness...just to name a few. I had to learn some of these lessons the hard way and anyone who has ever felt the Lord trimming away their problem areas knows it isn't easy. It was a year filled with growth, but I still have a long way to go. Too often we put our focus on the past and on all these things I've listed from my 2013 that I'm not too proud of. There is nothing we can do about the events that have already passed, yet Satan loves to torture us with them. The past can preoccupy our minds, but nothing about it will ever change. It's a pointless battle that we need to retreat from.

I take this verse as a challenge for this year. God is holding His hand out to me, to all of us, asking us to let go of what is currently in our hands occupying our time and energy and put that weight down, so that we can grab ahold of Him and what He has for us in 2014. To symbolize this, our youth group lit sky lanterns and released them to show everyone including ourselves that we are putting the past behind us and embracing everything that we are trusting the Lord to do in the New Year. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done and it was very meaningful for all of us. We didn't let them go individually, but all together. We are in this together. Here's to 2014 and the great things that we know are to come!

Out with the Old, In with the New

Last night I finally conquered the task of cleaning out my closet. It's been a long time coming and it really needed to be done. I have accumulated so many clothes over the years; it was getting a tad out of hand. The majority of my wardrobe is actually quite old, most of it dating back to my teenage years. These clothes aren't nice and new anymore. In fact, most of them are very worn and used. My closet was stuffed full of junk and clutter. So why the struggle to get rid of it?

It's funny how something as simple as going through your closet can make you nostaglic. As I went to put different articles of clothing in the "giving away" pile, my mind was suddenly flooded with memories. I started thinking about when I bought it, where I had worn it and the special moments I had in these different outfits. To most, this probably sounds ridiculous. I realized that I actually had a sentimental attachment to some of my clothes and that is what has made me put off giving them away time and time again.

I felt like this was such a good depiction of what is going on in my life at the moment. I am growing up. I am getting older. It is time to change, but for some reason, I find it hard to let the past go. I am still learning who I am as an adult. I am still coming into my own. Last night, I realized how scary it is to let go of who you used to be and to finally put those memories from long ago in the vault, and walk away. As hard as that is, the most intimidating part of all isn't actually letting go of who you once were but figuring out who you are going to become. Instead of being sad about the things I was getting rid of, I slowly became excited about all of the new things that were soon to fill my closet and represent who I am now and who I am becoming.

This process also revealed to me that I have a tendency to hold on to the junk in my life. Seemingly beautiful or flat out ugly, I squeeze tight to the stuff that bogs me down. Those things clutter my closet and really, they clutter my life. The old stuff weighs me down and doesn't allow me to focus on the new stuff. At first, I was hesitant to put anything in that "get rid of" pile, but once I started, I couldn't stop. Getting rid of the junk allowed me to see what I had so much more clearly. I wasn't distracted by the mess falling from the hangers anymore. I could finally focus on the important things without all the other debris blurring my vision.

What I came to realize throughout the experience of cleaning out my closet is that my closet is a lot like my life. It has been cluttered and full of junk. I needed to get rid of the chaos and disorder and start filling my life with the things that actually matter. It's never easy to rid your life of the rubbish that you have held so tightly to, but it feels so satisfying once you do. It is also tough to let go of the old and scary to see what the new holds. It's a process, this whole growing up and moving forward thing. I am still learning and will continue to day by day. I now see what it's like to have a simple life full of the good things, not being bogged down by pointless junk. It's freeing and weighless. I can finally see where I am headed and it feels good!