Emerson's 2 Month Update!

Another month has flown by and Emerson is already 2 months old! I can't believe it's already time for Emerson's 2 month update! She is the sweetest little girl and we love having her in our family! Emerson is smiling, holding her head up like a champ, and interacting more with her surroundings. She's also decided to wake up and join the party more lately and we love seeing her little personality come through. Emerson has such a calm and sweet demeanor. She rarely cries and is very laid back. We are so thankful for a growing and healthy baby girl! Love you Emerson Faith! 💜

Weight & Height: She's 10 lbs. 4 oz. (26%) and 22.25 inches long (43%) and growing beautifully! I was extremely pleased with her weight gain since she started off so small and am thrilled that she's almost doubled her birth weight. I can tell she's so much bigger now! I love her little rolls and chubby cheeks.

Sleep: Emerson is doing fairly well in the sleep department. Honestly, until 1-2 weeks ago, she still slept most of her days away. She has just recently started waking up more and being more aware and alert. I love it! I love being able to interact with her and see how she studies her surroundings. Emerson takes naps throughout the day and she sleeps hard. I have to wake her up a lot to make sure she doesn't sleep all day! She is doing better about taking shorter cat naps, so that she is actually tired at bedtime. She will sleep anywhere and everywhere. She is only up for 20 minutes - 1 hour and then she passes out again. Too much stimulation for this girl! ;) Emerson is sleeping okay at night. She still sleeps in the Rock 'n' Play next to our bed and is swaddled every night. She usually goes to bed around 9pm, wakes up around 1-2 am, and then wakes up again around 5-6am. And then goes back to sleep! Ha. The longest stretch she usually has is 4-5 hours and then after that, she sleeps another 3-4 hour stretch. She slept 6 hours straight last week and that was amazing! Emerson is great about eating and going right back to sleep, so that's wonderful. I'm hoping her sleep improves this coming month. While she is a far better sleeper than Grayson was (he was terrible), I know a lot of babies her age who are sleeping much better than her at this point. I'm tired, but managing! And trying not to compare her to other babies...she will sleep through the night eventually! (She's done a 7 hour and 6 hour stretch in the last few days...she's getting there!)

(Loves napping with Daddy!) 

Eating: I am still exclusively breastfeeding and it's going well! She's gaining weight, so that's the most important thing. She does struggle with latching at times and I also realized I have a forceful letdown which doesn't help. She almost never spits up, but she has started throwing up everything she's eaten every few days, so we are going to get that checked out! Overall, I'm so thankful I am able to breastfeed her and I'm really enjoying that. I find that I feed her much more often in public this time around (with a nursing cover). I was much more shy about breastfeeding the first time around, but this time I find that I don't always want to have to go off alone to breastfeed, so I do it more around others than I did with Grayson. I also feel much more comfortable with breastfeeding this time. Emerson eats every 2-3 hours during the day.

(Just a day in the life of a little sister!)

Clothes: Emerson is in 0-3 month clothing and size 1 diapers (heading into size 2 soon). Emerson's newborn clothes have been put in the attic and she fits really well in her 0-3 month clothes. This isn't surprising considering she's 2 months old, but since she started off so tiny, I guess I expected her to stay smaller longer. She has really caught up fast. Stop growing so quickly, Emerson! I have no idea why, but changing out my kid's clothing sizes has always been so sad for me. I tend to get so emotional putting away something tiny and knowing they won't ever wear it again and they are on to the next size up! 

Mood: Emerson is the most relaxed baby! I'm still getting used to it in some ways after having a much more challenging first-born child. She is very go-with-the-flow and rarely cries. We have noticed that she gets slightly fussy right before she's about to fall asleep, but if you hold her for a second or give her the pacifier, then she's out. Emerson is almost always completely content. She's an awesome second child and must just know that I'm busy running after Grayson because she just hangs out while I chase him! She has the sweetest demeanor and she has started to smile this month! Oh, it melts my heart! When she's awake, she will smile a bunch and it's just the best. Overall, she's very quiet and only coos a little bit. She is starting to wiggle and be more active when she's awake. She loves to kick her legs and arms. I'm still learning her personality, but I love seeing it slowly come through. She's very opposite of Grayson in most ways, so it's been really fun to see her do things her own way.

Milestones: smiles, holds her head up during tummy time, cooing some, following objects and people more with her eyes, interacting more with her surroundings, and batting at objects on her play mat.

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Loves:  Batting at colorful objects in front of her, loves the pacifier at times and other times could care less, kicking her arms and legs around while laying on her back, running errands with mommy and Grayson, car rides, only loves her play mat for short periods of time, bath time with Grayson, sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed, having her bottom patted and head rubbed (she always cracks a smile!), and hanging out in the Boppy while Grayson plays. Emerson loves to smile at daddy and to be held by mommy. She tolerates her big brother and his not so gentle affection. ;) But really, Grayson loves to hug, kiss, and hold "Baby Emerson" and she doesn't mind most of the time.

Doesn’t like:  being tackled or bothered too much by big bro, gassy tummy pains, when she can't latch on to her pacifier or me well during breastfeeding she gets frustrated, goopy eyes caused by clogged tear ducts, and being constipated and having an upset tummy.

Things I Want to Remember:

• A family visit to the pumpkin patch!

• Emerson's First Wedding!

• Family night at the fair!

How is Mommy doing? For me, adjusting to 2 kids has been an emotional roller coaster and quite the humbling experience. Some days, we go out and do lots of things, my kids are awesome, I remember to pack everything we need, I'm balancing them both well, and I feel like I'm rocking it! Other days, Emerson is crying, Grayson is crying, (heck, I'm crying!), I get nothing done, the house is a tornado and I feel like I'm a disaster. I have moments of feeling like an awesome mommy and feeling like a terrible mommy each and every day. A part of me feels guilty for not paying Grayson as much attention as I used to and the other part of me feels guilty for not giving Emerson nearly as much attention as Grayson got at this age. I feel bad that I'm always having to take care of Grayson (the super active toddler) while Emerson just kind of sits on the sidelines and watches a.k.a. sleeps. Just like I also feel bad for always having Emerson in my arms and not being able to cuddle and pick up Grayson nearly as much. These different thoughts of guilt come in and out of my head constantly. That being said, I also have moments where I know I'm giving my kids everything I have and I know that it's enough. Grayson has also entered into the tantrum throwing stage which makes an already tired mommy even more overwhelmed. I am also learning how to parent a strong-willed, extremely smart, opinionated, sweet, super vocal, independent, energetic, and at times, challenging toddler. I sometimes struggle with comparing Grayson and Emerson and worrying that Emerson isn't doing what Grayson was doing at that age. The long days and even longer nights are wearing on me (Grayson has started waking up at night too) and I'm learning that being a full-time mom to 2 under 2 is no joke. All of that to say, that I'm still learning. I'm learning how to balance and how to prioritize. I'm learning to remember that not everything is going to get done and that the house might be a disaster, but the memories I made with my kid's that day will last forever. I'm learning to be patient with Grayson as he adjusts to having a sister and to me patient with myself as I adjust to a whole new level of motherhood. Overall, I have days where I am thriving and other days where I am just (barely) surviving. These days are hard, but so wonderful and special. I never want to look back on this time and think I wasted it complaining or feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to cherish these days because they will soon be over and I'll be missing them. I started adding this section to my baby updates because I think it's important to be honest and real about motherhood. As mothers, it's easy to feel isolated or like every other mom has it together and you are the only one who doesn't. Well, I'm here to reassure you that isn't true. We are all in this together and we've all either been there or are going to be there soon. Motherhood is the most challenging yet rewarding experience I've ever had and I'm so glad I'm not in it alone.

Grayson's 2 Month Update!

I can't believe it's already time for Grayson's 2 month update! This month has flown and he is growing and changing right in front of my eyes. Each week I can see so many differences in him and he is constantly hitting new milestones. In a lot of ways, he is like a new little person since last month and I am seeing his personality come out (which I love!). If you haven't already noticed by the crazy amount of pictures I post of Grayson, I am completely in love. In some ways, I feel like a teenager...completely head over heels for this little boy and constantly admiring how cute he is. Grayson has my heart and makes it melt on a regular basis. 

Weight & Height: We just went to Grayson's 2 month appointment today, so we were able to get accurate measurements. Grayson is 12 lbs. 2.8 oz (62nd percentile) and 22.5 inches long (33rd percentile). Short and chubby :) Since he only started off at 7 lbs. 1 oz. and is still exclusively breastfed, I am thrilled with his significant weight gain! 

Sleep: This is probably my only complaint about Grayson at this stage of his life. He is a wonderful napper, but he still doesn't sleep for very long periods at night. He averages about 3 hours of sleep at a time, sometimes reverts back to waking up every 2 hours and other times, he reaches 4 hours of sleep before waking up. Each night is still different for him, but we are slowly starting to see regularities in his sleeping and eating patterns which helps. Grayson has been much better about eating quickly and then being put back in his Rock 'N' Play next to our bed and falling right back to sleep. That new trick of his is a life saver...no more being up for an hour at a time each feeding! Last night he actually slept for 4.5 hrs and then 3 hrs...this mama was thrilled! 

Clothes: Grayson is in 0-3 month clothing and just went to size 2 diapers this week. Stop growing, Gray! I personally really struggle watching him grow. It brings me so much joy, yet makes me sad that the days are already passing so quickly. I finally put away his newborn clothes last week and I was so sad about it. My husband was laughing at me the whole time saying...he is almost 2 months old! You know it's a good thing he still doesn't fit in his newborn clothes, right? ....Yes, Josh, I do. But it's still sad! ;) 

Mood: Grayson's mood has probably been the biggest change that we have noticed this month. Josh and I used to joke calling him "The Grump" the whole first month because he was just that, grumpy. He wasn't good about not being held all the time and couldn't self-sooth (very normal for newborns), but now he is a different baby! He is a lot happier and cries so much less. Grayson is much more content and will go for almost an hour on his play mat cooing and playing, which gives me time to get things done around the house. I can tell that he is more aware of things and notices sounds more which helps entertain him and keep him calm for longer. He has also started smiling this month which just melts my heart. I absolutely love it and am constantly trying to make him smile. 

Milestones: smiles, holds his head up, cooing and very vocal. 

Loves:  Batting at colorful objects in front of him (especially his red, jingly fox), sucking his hands, kicking his arms and legs around while laying on his back, running errands with mommy and basically going anywhere in his car seat and stroller, his play mat, bath time (as long as the water and bathroom are very warm!), laying in mommy and daddy's bed, sleeping on his side, and staring at the owl mobile in his crib while it spins and plays music. 

Doesn’t like:  tummy time and being burped (who likes being interrupted during a good meal?!)

How Is Mommy Doing? At 8 weeks postpartum, I am feeling great and very much like myself again. I was very lucky and felt about 90% after the first few weeks, but it took awhile for me to get back to feeling 100% again. My body is back to normal and I have even started running again (very slowly). The only lasting symptom from birth that I am still dealing with is a bruised tail bone. I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced this, but my doctor said most likely Grayson nicked my tailbone on the way out. (TMI, sorry). I love being a mom and am actually handling it better than I thought. Emotionally, I have been fairly calm and haven't been nearly as stressed and overwhelmed with all the changes as I thought I might be. Sleep deprivation is hard, but I am managing. It's amazing how God can create your body to do so many things including carry a child, give birth, and still function while getting very little sleep over a long period of time. As far as Grayson and I, I feel more connected to him this month and that really helps when I am feeling worn out. I have deeply loved him since before he was even conceived, but it took a while for me to feel that mother-baby bond. In a lot of ways, I felt it from the moment I saw him, but I also know it has grown stronger with time. 

Going Back To Work? So many of you have asked me about this, so here's your answer. We were originally planning on me going back to work full-time after Grayson was 6 weeks old. I knew it would be hard, but leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever done. By going back to work, I felt like motherhood was being stripped away from me (obviously not true). I went from being with my baby 24/7 to being gone half the day. I hated not knowing what was going on with him and I felt like I was missing those precious moments of his life. After a breakdown and lots of tears on Sunday night, I forced myself out the door and to work the first 2 days of that week and about mid-day on Tuesday, I just couldn't do it any more. I was miserable. Like I said, it was much harder for me than I ever would have imagined. I just felt like work wasn't where I belonged anymore. I belonged with my baby. Thankfully, my boss and I were able to work out a perfect arrangement for our family. I am now working 3 days a week! Yes, I do still have to work, but at least I am home and with Grayson more than I am away. Between Josh and I, we are able to adjust our work schedules so Grayson can be with either one of us (or both) at almost all times. We are very blessed to be able to say that! I am in no way discrediting working mothers or stay-at-home mothers for that matter, but for me, working part-time is the perfect balance! 

Going back to work while being a mom and a wife, and still managing my household and my life has been tough, but I am doing it! Our family is still adjusting to life with a little one and in a lot of ways our life is much more complicated now, but it is also so full of love and happiness! Grayson is our joy and we cannot wait to see what month 3 of his life holds!